


Completely Hypothetical

by CherryBerri



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Action, Comedy, Drama, F/M, Romance, scifi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 08:48:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14077248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CherryBerri/pseuds/CherryBerri
Summary: Rick's childhood friend stops by for a visit, after vanishing for decades; completely out of the blue. Suspicious of her sudden appearance, Rick soon discovers the true reason for her visit. He soon comes face-to-face with some of the mistakes from his past he had thought would NEVER come back to bother him.





	1. Chapter 1

Myra's silvery eyes watched the odd boy across the street, from her front lawn. She was sitting on the grass with her books and dolls; trying to pretend to read. Just in case her mother caught her looking at the 'strange boy across the street' again.

He had a strange assortment of tools sprawled over his front driveway, his hands working frantically as he pulled a welding mask down over his face. Myra shielded her eyes as the blinding sparks began to flash as he started to meld the metal together. Sheer fascination tingled her skin as she watched him work; his eyes full of a frenzied obsession she had never seen on an adult, let alone a boy of her age.

Myra had moved to the neighbourhood a week before; her parents were wealthy, beyond reason, and had believed that it was within her best interest to attend the best school the county had to offer.

So, they had sold their large estate and moved to a wealthy little suburbia, not too far from where her prestigious school was located; within walking distance- if they were ever so inclined to let her do something as ghastly and destitute as  _walking_  anywhere. Especially when they had a pretentious car to show off to the citizens of their new town. Her parents absolutely  _loved_  rubbing their wealth in everyone's face.

Myra shook her head at the thought, and glimpsed up at the boy again. The first time she had seen him, she had though he was a little peculiar. As she had watched him more and more; she had become utterly fascinated with his strange, bluish hair and slender frame as he created strange, little… things.

For she had no idea what to call them, other than that;  _things_.

She had wondered what their purpose was; what their functionality could possibly be- and what drove this boy to want to build and create them out of garbage he had found. He was seemingly obsessed with creating things and Myra wanted to share in his passion for crafting.

She placed the book, she was holding in front of her face, aside. She stood up and gently brushed her floral blue dress off and started walking towards the path. Today was the day she would find out; she was going to ask him what he was doing. Myra glimpsed over her shoulder to her house; making sure her mother wasn't watching from the window before she set off towards the boy, making sure to watch out for traffic as she crossed the road.

Myra stepped up onto the sidewalk behind the boy and stood still, her eyes wandered over the little contraption he was tinkering with. He was hunched over as he tapped it on the pavement several times, as though to bump something into place.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

The boy jumped, clearly surprised by her sudden appearance.

"Fuck!" he cursed and glared at her in annoyance, "You should really wear a bell or something- y-you can't sneak up on a man when he's working on shit!"

"You  _swore_!" Myra covered her mouth in shock, "You can't  _swear_!"

"I can do whatever the  _fuck_  I want." The boy grumbled, his face contorting in anger- his monobrow furrowing as he glared at her. "You're the new neighbour's kid?" He sounded irritated, yet curious.

She nodded her head, "I am Myra Mortimer."

He pulled a disgusted face, "Y-your parents must hate you to name you something like  _that_." He peered up at her with a sudden thought, "I-I know- I'll call you Morty; short for Mortimer…." He was grinning, "Yeah, I like the sound of that… Morty, Morty…  _Mmmmmooooooorrrrttttyyy!"_

She frowned at him, "But my name is  _Myra_." She was intrigued by his use of language, and by his slight stutter.

"D-don't be a dumbass, _Morty_." He was grinning as he wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand, leaving a trial of black grease. He stood up and gestured to the thing he held in his hand, "This is my newest invention, Morty!" He grinned, "I call it the Zapper."

Myra frowned at it, looking at the crude welding and wiring handiwork; it certainly looked like it would zap someone.

"That's interesting, I guess." Myra frowned, "You know; you are, kind of, a mean person."

The boy shrugged, "I don't give a shit. Wanna help me test this thing out?" He grinned eagerly as he held the little contraption towards her.

Myra shrugged, "Ok." It was curiosity that had killed the cat, after all.

He grinned at her, "My name is Rick, by the way. Rick Sanchez" He held out his hand and she shook it; albeit timidly.

Rick let go of her hand and suddenly pressed the Zapper against her shoulder; she felt a surge of electricity run through her body- setting her nerves aflame with agonising pain. She collapsed in a writhing heap as she lost control of her own appendages. Her body twitched uncontrollably and she let out a little yelp.

Rick laughed in delight, "Woah, it works!" He laughed maniacally.

Myra stopped writhing after several moments and burst into tears as she sat up, "Why did you do that to me?" she whimpered between sobs. She wiped her eyes, glaring at him, "You made me  _cry_!"

Rick knelt down next to her and placed a hand on her shoulder, "I-I'm sorry; but it was better you than me. I'll tell you what- you can give me a zap now, if it will make you feel better?" He held the zapper out in an open palm towards her with a smile.

Myra snatched it off him before he could change his mind and pressed the button as she thrust it against his arm.

Rick whimpered with a strange, involuntary noise and fell to the ground. His body jerked around as it had a fit, caused by the electric energy.

Myra grinned as she stood over him, suddenly delighted by the instant Karma she had dished out.

"I was  _joking_!" Rick scowled after his body stopped jerking around, "But I-I guess that makes us even." He leapt to his feet and stared at her with a smirk, "You're kinda cool, I guess."

"Myra Alexis Mortimer!"

Myra's head whipped around as she stared at her furious mother across the road. She looked completely beside herself with anger; her hands were on her hips and her beautiful face was contorted in rage; turning redder by the second, "Get away from  _that_   _boy_!"

"Oops; l-looks like you're in trouble, Morty. See ya around?" Rick snickered and grinned devilishly as Myra turned towards her mother.

"Maybe." Myra said in a low tone as she quickly hurried across the street. She buried her face behind a curtain of reddish hair as she scampered towards her angry mother.

Despite the fact he was extremely mean and rude, Myra had liked Rick from that day on. She became interested in science and becoming as smart as him; though that was impossible – there was  _never_  going to be anyone as smart as Rick Sanchez.

Nothing would ever stop their misadventures; it was going to be 'Rick and Morty' forever. At least, that had been their original plan.

* * *

Myra's icy silver eyes traced the front door to the house in disbelief. It was so disgustingly and unbelievably  _quaint_. Her eyes narrowed suspiciously at the notion.

When she had heard rumours, through the extensive grapevine, that the fabled Rick Sanchez had returned to a domestic life; she had nearly keeled over in a fit of laughter.

She had been adamant that there was a mistake; there was no way in hell Dianne's husband would ever,  _willingly_ , return to a family life. The mere thought was comedic on its own, let alone the fact that Myra had gone through the trouble of tracking down his daughter's address. She  _had_  to see it with her own two eyes.

She pressed the doorbell with a single, bony finger and listened to the lacklustre chime as she paused in anticipation. From recollection, Dianne and Rick had a single daughter and two grandchildren. Their daughter was named Beth; that much Myra could remember- though the names of the two grandchildren had seemingly slipped her mind over the years.

A frown curved her mouth as the door opened, revealing a teenage girl with red hair and a fair complexion. She cocked an eyebrow as she looked Myra up and down; visibly judging the older woman before her.

"Hello?" The girl asked in a questioning tone, "Can I help you?"

Myra was baffled by the girl's confused tone. It almost sounded as if she had never had a normal interaction with a visitor before. Though, she didn't doubt that was exactly the reason for the girl's demeanour;  _normal_  was not possible with Rick Sanchez in your life.

"Hello." Myra attempted to smile as she looked at the younger girl, "I would like to see your grandfather please; would you be a dear and go fetch him- tell him it's his childhood friend." Myra stepped inside, shoving past the girl to enter. The youth closed the door behind her.

She peered around the entrance, spotting a staircase to the right and a dining room to her left. Straight head she could just glimpse a loungeroom; everything looked tediously  _normal_. It even  _smelt_  homely and inviting; genuinely the last place she had ever pictured Rick living.

The girl frowned at her, her eyes were full of seething annoyance, " _Childhood_  friend?" She asked with a frown momentarily, before a sudden smirk began to curve her mouth, "You'd have to be what…  _thirty_  years old?" The girl chortled to herself.

Myra resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the comment she had heard throughout her entire adult life, before she smirked back at the girl, "Just go fetch your grandfather; you can ask him the story."

The girl didn't budge from where she was standing, "GRANDPA RICK! THERE'S SOME STRANGE WOMAN HERE TO SEE YOU!" She shouted and Myra winced as her ears began to ring.

"Charming." Myra blinked and looked about, "I'm sure a foghorn would have done the trick nicely too." She heard a commotion to the left, past the dining room as a door burst open.

Even though it had been at least thirty years since Myra had last laid eyes on him; she could still see her childhood friend as she looked at Rick. He had aged surprisingly well; a little unbelievably well if Myra didn't know any better.

"W-what the hell are you yelling about,  _Summer?_ " Rick barked in irritation, before his eyes wandered to Myra. "Holy shit." He muttered, his expression going momentarily blank as he stared at her, almost in disbelief, "Y-you diabolical  _bitch_!" he was grinning suddenly as he strode forward.

Myra's eyes briefly darted to a younger teenage boy in a yellow shirt, who had suddenly appeared behind Rick. He looked slightly anxious and jittery as he watched his grandfather.

"I thought you were  _dead_!" Rick was laughing as he clapped Myra on the back roughly.

Myra grinned back at him, "Sorry to disappoint, but I am very much  _alive_." She smirked.

"I had Beth name my  _grandson_  af…after you!" Rick roared in laughter.

" _What_?" the boy was frowning suddenly.

"What?" Myra pitched in, "Surely she didn't name him  _Myra?"_

"Don't be an id…iot,  _Morty!"_  He belched; completely beside himself with laughter as he slapped her on the back again.

"What's going on here?" The teenage girl was frowning at them with an odd expression. She was looking back and forward between Rick and Myra.

Rick took a moment to compose himself, before he cleared his throat and gestured to Myra with a slight smile, "Summer, Morty; this is Myra Mortimer; we kind of…. Grew up together…. I guess?" He was shrugging suddenly as he looked at Myra with a questioning glance.

"That sounds adequate." She nodded dismissively.

"What- then how are you like  _thirty_  years old?" Summer asked in disbelief.

"T-that was, umm,  _my_  fault." Rick said, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

"You see, I went to college," Myra began.

"Like a complete sell-out." Rick interrupted bitterly.

"And studied theoretical sciences."

" _Because_  she's an  _idiot_." Rick interrupted again, "long story short, I-I m…may or may not have tested a-a prototype of my portal gun on her and sh-she may or may not have be…been affected by said test, in a biophysical manner."

"Meaning that his prototype gun was more of an 'anti-aging' gun, than a device that would tear holes through space and time." Myra interjected and glared at Rick.

"I also got her  _kicked_  out of college." Rick grinned, "H-how awesome is that."

"You  _BLEW_  up the laboratory!" Myra grumbled and folded her arms across her chest irritably.

"Oh my  _god_ … so she is actually someone who knows… like, pretty much  _everything_  about you?" Summer was grinning suddenly, "Give us some dirt!"

"Yeah, y-y-you must have a million  _humiliating_  things y-you could tell us about Rick!" Morty chimed in.

Myra smirked darkly as she glanced a suddenly nervous-looking Rick.

"Bad idea." He frowned, "Seriously; you ev…even think about it I-I-I will cut you."

Myra grinned at him, "I think we both know that is physically impossible."

Rick frowned and brushed past her into the dining room, stepping through into the garage "W-why did you come to my lame-ass daughter's h…home anyway?" He belched, cutting in before she could say anything further.

Myra shrugged and followed, peering around the eerily homely house with little interest. She stared about the garage, where he had stored a bunch of his science junk. This was slightly more like what she had been expecting. She didn't doubt he had built some sort of lair underneath the house as well.

"I heard whispers that you had returned to play  _grandfather_." She said dismissively, glancing over her shoulder as Summer and Morty appeared behind her.

"You two dipshits go play elsewhere." Rick frowned at them, "Let  _Morty_  and I catch up."

"But grandpa Rick this is the first time we've me…" Summer was cut off as a large bubble suddenly enveloped her and her brother. Rick pressed the button to open the garage door and they floated away.

"Maybe you should call me Myra; you know to save the confusion?" She suggested as Rick pressed the button again to close the garage door.

Rick frowned, "Yeah, whatever; in all serious…ness  _what_  are you doing here?"

"Do I need reasons to want to visit someone I once considered my best friend?" Myra frowned, "I'm sorry for wanting to reconnect, after all this time."

Rick glared at her, "T-that's why it's so suspicious; it's been  _decades_." He whirled around towards his workbench, suddenly angry as he reached inside his coat pocket and withdrew a flask. He took a swig, "Surely you and  _Roberto_  have built quite the life together." The name seemed to roll out of his mouth like a bad taste.

"Rob and I never became a thing. I'm not currently married, nor have I been; and I certainly have no intention to….  _ever_." Myra frowned, "But I  _do_  have a son."

"Must be nice." Rick muttered bitterly, turning his back completely to her as he knelt down to rummage through his cupboards.

Myra reached inside her jacket pocket and snatched something out. She placed it on the workbench, "I also came to give you this back." She said, glimpsing down at the portal gun he had given her decades before. "I used it quite extensively before I had my son." She shrugged "I thought you might want it back."

Rick peered at it from where he was crouched and then turned back to the cupboards with a frown, "I-it was a gift- you should keep it." He pulled something out of the cupboard and grinned, "I  _knew_  I-I still had this th…thing somewhere." He burped and lifted it into the air to show her, "Remember this thing?"

Myra stared at the contraption in disbelief, "Graduation day; you made all the popular kids burst out into disco moves." She remembered fondly "those assholes certainly had it coming." She smiled at Rick, "Why'd you keep that thing?"

Rick shrugged, "My little mem…memento of being kicked out of school." He smirked and pulled an entire box out of the cupboard, "I kept a crapload of those early inventions."

Her eyes ran over the inventions within the box, each new item bought a surge of a memory forward. She smiled, "those were certainly the days." She laughed, "you know,  _before_  you knocked Dianne up."

Rick frowned, "Yeah." He stood up, appearing almost absent-minded as he glanced towards the door, "Hey sweetie, when did you get home?" His mouth curved into a pleasant smile.

Myra turned and saw an adult Beth smiling as she glanced back and forward between her father and Myra.

"About two minutes ago; heard you talking to someone." Beth said, her eyes narrowing towards Myra, "Wow, you look  _really_  familiar."

"Well, she should; I-I mean she hasn't physically aged a single day since the last time you saw her; w-when you were about…eight?" Rick shrugged, "But for reintroductions, Beth this is Myra, Myra – Beth."

"So, I  _do_  know you?" Beth asked, with a confused smile.

"Yes, I used to visit all the time, when you were a child." Myra smiled pleasantly. She was slightly taken-aback by her striking resemblance to her mother, "You've grown into a beautiful woman."

Beth chuckled slightly, "Why thank you." She said, lapping the compliment up, "You're not so bad yourself."

"C-careful sweetie; Myra takes compliments extremely s…seriously. She came from a wealthy family where praise and approval was far and in-between."

Beth shot Myra a slightly shocked glance.

Myra shrugged, "He's not wrong."

"But still… Dad you shouldn't speak about a long-time friend like that; especially while they are standing right next to you." Beth frowned at her father.

"We are far beyond the fake pleasantness," Myra shrugged, "We know we can be literal with each other."

Beth frowned and glanced back and forward, "So… you two have known each other a  _REALLY_  long time, haven't you?"

"Since we were six." Rick shrugged.

Beth suddenly seemed to perk up more, "So, will you be staying with us?"

Myra glanced at Rick, "Actually I'm staying at a run-down motel, in town, for a week; I just wanted to drop by to catch-up with your father for a little bit before I return home."

Rick frowned at her, "Nice; nothing quite like a shitty hotel."

Beth was smiling, "You should stay here. I mean, it'll be the couch but it certainly beats a crummy motel." She smirked, "I'm certain that Myra has a lot of stories she can share."

Rick started to ignore Beth, "Hope you bought your shit with you." He said, glancing at Myra.

"My  _shit_  is in the car out front." Myra nodded.

"L-let me help you with said shit, then." Rick said, still actively trying to ignore Beth who was staring at him, from the doorway, with a smug grin.

"Guess I will just go get things sorted in the kitchen then." Beth smirked as Rick pressed the button to open the garage door.

Rick was frowning as he walked Myra to the silver Benz she had rented, "I-I apologise in advance for my lame-ass family." He grumbled irritably.

Myra reached into her coat pocket and withdrew a set of keys with a shrug, "Honestly none of this is what I ever pictured for you; but its surprisingly…  _interesting_ , to say the least." She smiled, popping the car boot with the key button, "Certainly beats single-motherhood."

"Y-y-you were a single mother?" Rick frowned at her, "Geez, certainly thought you'd snag some pompous asshole along the way."

Myra snorted, "relationships were never my forte."

"I hear that." Rick smirked as he heaved her suitcase out of the boot. "So… a son?" Rick probed, "W-what kind o…of name did you give the poor bastard?"

Myra closed the boot and they headed back towards the garage. "Benedict, though he prefers Ben" She replied with a shrug.

"Poor, innocent, bastard." Rick shook his head with a smirk, "He didn't stand a chance."

Myra rolled her eyes, "You named your daughter  _Beth_ , of all things."

Rick laughed, "H-hey I had Dianne chewing my ass the whole time; y-you didn't have a guy telling you all your names were  _lame_." He smirked, "t-there's no excusing your poor name-choices."

Myra snorted and muttered in a low, devious tone, "I snuck a ' _dick'_  into his name!"

Rick shrugged and grinned wider, "I-it's kind of a long-shot, but I'll accept it!"


	2. Chapter 2

A child Myra was sitting beneath the shade of a tree in the front yard. The warmth of the July sun beamed down as she buried her face in yet another book. She wasn't supposed to be outside; she was in trouble.

Her mother wanted her to be confined to her room, though that wasn't punishment for Myra. It was far too nice a day to be indoors, so she had climbed out the window to come outside. Her mom would be furious, and no doubt prattle on about how 'ladies' didn't do such ghastly things; Myra could care less.

She wasn't interested in being her parent's societal puppet; she knew the only reason they had sent her to the prestigious school, was to rub elbows with other wealthy parents and kids. They wanted her to find a rich husband  _already_ ; she hadn't even hit puberty.

A red ball suddenly landed next to her on the grass and she jumped, glancing around to see who had thrown it. There was no one around; though she suspected Rick was up to something.

"W-what you reading there, Morty?" Rick's voice chimed from behind the tree.

Myra resisted the urge to throw the ball at him, and she turned back to her book, pretending to read, "Go away- You've gotten me into enough trouble this week, Rick Sanchez."

Rick's laugh came in a pleasant thrum, "Because of t-the cat thing?"

"Because a ' _lady'_  isn't supposed to be interested in the complexities of science." Myra muttered in a sarcastic tone, "Because I am clearly  _far_  more suited to being a  _housewife,_  than creating temporal fields and making our cat, Tingles, explode in my front yard."

Rick suddenly snorted, appearing from behind the tree, "Clearly my calculations were off, Morty."

Myra frowned at him, "Obviously." Her eyes went wide as she saw he was sporting a large new bruise on his cheek and eye, "what happened?"

Rick slumped down in the grass next to her, "My dad didn't appreciate the cat t-thing either." He was frowning and glaring at the ground. It wasn't the first time his father had hit him, and it certainly wouldn't be the last.

"One day we'll make something that… just opens a  _door_  to a new world; or something." Myra frowned, resisting the urge to comfort Rick because she knew he'd hate it. "We'll just  _leave_." She waved her arms about to emphasize her point.

Rick grinned devilishly at her, "Maybe you're right, Morty; maybe you're right."

* * *

"You've got to be  _kidding_  me?" Beth and the rest of the Smith family were all seated around the dinner table; their faces shrouded in masks of disbelief.

Rick' face was full of a proud enthusiasm Myra had seen on middle-aged men, whenever they had bought an over-the top car during a midlife crisis. His happy expression dropped abruptly and was replaced with an agitated scowl, "What the  _hell_  are you t…talking about?" he gestured towards Myra, "E-everything, right here, is the pinnacle of w…hy you should comply with  _all_  of my ideas." He folded his arms across his chest suddenly; visibly defensive.

He had just finished giving them a small, dinner-time showcase of the inventions and experiments he had successfully performed on Myra, in their youth. He had appeared delighted as he reeled off a list of functions and benefits; momentarily pausing, at times, to show them her 'swiss-army fingers', superhuman strength and inability to sneeze.

"You  _willingly_  let Rick do all of this to you?" Jerry's expression was full of concern, "I may not be very smart,"

"Understatement of the century." Rick cut in bitterly.

"But I,  _certainly,_  would never let Rick a  _control_  chip of any kind in me…" Jerry frowned.

Myra grimaced and folded her arms across her chest, feeling up-tight, "It's a phrase-activated neurological impairment chip," She muttered, correcting him, " _because_  I had extensive bouts of pubescent mood swings, which impaired our scientific work." Myra felt her mouth forming a thin line as she awkwardly avoided the Smith's suddenly critical eyes.

Rick abruptly snatched his steak knife from the table, "But look!" he said, suddenly ramming it into her back, with great force. The metal blade tore a hole through her jacket and blouse and then crumpled upon contact with her skin, "indestructible epidermis!" He grinned manically and glanced around at his family, expecting them to look amazed. They didn't appear to be impressed in the slightest.

"That was a freak accident, and I doubt you have been able to replicate the results. Also, you owe me a new jacket and shirt." Myra muttered in a low tone and shook her head, as though to clear it. She turned back to the meal before her, still avoiding eye-contact, "Most of my additional functions are still of considerable use." She attempted to sound dismissive.

"Y-y-you made mom name me…after  _her_?" Morty was frowning with a slight shake of his head. "I-I really don't know how I feel about that, Rick."

"You must have a lot of faith in our grandpa." Summer shrugged, "and a  _lot_  of embarrassing stories." She probed.

Myra grinned darkly, "Even better- I have  _photos_."

Rick's eyes went wide suddenly, "What? No!" His voice crackled with a slight panic as she stood up and stared at her wildly.

Myra smirked at him darkly, and stood up, "I'm sure it's the least I could do for your daughter and grandchildren; after all this is  _their_  house. I have all the old photos on a drive; we can look at them on the T.V."

Rick's eyes narrowed as he glared at Myra in agitation as the rest of the family climbed to their feet and eagerly began to clear the table.

"I'll make popcorn!" Summer chimed excitedly as she raced into the kitchen.

Rick continued to glare at Myra, his hands folded across his chest in annoyance as the family all chattered enthusiastically in the kitchen.

"I hope you're happy taking advantage of my inferior family status." He shook his head at her, "R-real prickish move."

Myra sneered at him, "don't get your dick in a twist."

Rick mumbled incoherently and sulked towards the loungeroom.

Several moments later, the Smith family was all gathered around the television as Myra smugly grabbed the drive out of her suitcase. Rick was glaring at her, his arms folded tightly against his chest as she began to plug the drive into the television.

"I documented our old inventions and work extensively, throughout our youth. Much to my parent's disgust." Myra smiled, walking over to sit on the lounge's armrest next to Rick, the remote control in her hand.

The family's eyes were all glued to the TV as she flicked through photographs, briefly offering some context every once and a while. There were dozens of photographs of Rick and Myra when they were kids, with a huge variety of crude inventions. As they aged in the photographs, the inventions became more elaborate and intriguing.

Rick seemed to relax more and more with each passing photo; until he was offering old stories and laughing along with the rest of the family.

"Oh my god, you two went to the  _prom_  together?" Summer asked, referring to the photo of them together in a suit and dress, which had suddenly flashed onto the screen.

Rick and Myra glanced at each other side-long, "Not exactly." They both muttered at the same time.

The next photo flashed onto the screen and they were both smiling with their respective dates. Rick's arm was slung around a beautiful blonde girl's neck and Myra was standing awkwardly next to a blotchy-looking boy with braces; sprouting an uncomfortable smile.

Rick laughed and shook his head as he pointed at the photograph, "I remember the day Bobby Fisher asked you to go with him… oh my god, what a  _loser_!" he chortled, "He literally crapped his pants."

"At least I never went with Rebecca Carter." Myra shot back with a grin, "But we all knew what  _your_  agenda for that night was." The next photograph flicked onto the screen of Rick groping his date as he flipped off the photographer with his tongue jutting out between his pointer and index fingers on his other hand.

Beth shook her head, "Ok, gross."

"Hey, didn't you want t-that big meat-head jock… what's his name… to ask y…you to the prom?" Rick asked, glancing at Myra briefly.

Myra pulled a disgusted face, "I abhorred that dim-wit." She scowled at him and glared at the TV screen as photographs from prom flickered on and off the screen, "But I guess nothing turned out how anyone had intended that night," she chuckled slightly.

"Aww, but you two danced together!" Summer said gleefully from the floor, pointing to the photo on-screen.

It had been a slow-dance song; A Woman, A Lover, A Friend by Jackie Wilson. That was not too long after both of their dates had spontaneous departures from the prom. It had somehow been an awkwardly pleasant dance.

Myra quickly cleared her throat, and flicked through several more files before she clicked onto another one. It was her college photos, "Want to see some really old pictures of your grandmother?" she was grinning suddenly.

"Yes!" Morty and Summer chimed.

She enlarged the photo, "My wealthy parents bought my way into a sorority on the first day of college; your grandmother was accepted into it later, during the second semester." Myra smiled, pointing at the photograph on the screen, "We were roommates throughout my time in college."

"Aww…" Beth's face brightened as she smiled broadly, "did you become best-friends?"

Rick snorted, deep in the back of his throat and Beth shot him a quick, questioning glance.

Another photo flickered onto the screen. It was Bird person, Squanchy and Rick. Myra smiled, she had almost forgotten about this photograph.

"Is that an  _alien_  strip club?" Jerry was frowning as he squinted at the scantily-clad aliens in the background, "did you  _seriously_  go to a strip club with  _Rick_?"

"It was Rick's Buck's night." Myra smirked side-long at Rick, "Perhaps the most devious and repulsive night any living being has ever witnessed."

Rick grinned devilishly at the memory, "D-Didn't y-you end up waking up with a job as a stripper for that joint?"

"So, you were friends with Bird Person and Squanchy too?" Beth asked, cutting her father off as she shot Myra a quick glance, "I don't recall seeing you at the wedding…"

There was a brief, awkward pause as Myra glanced at her in confusion.

"Ok, t-that's enough of this crap." Rick muttered, climbing to his feet. He strode over to the TV and removed the drive, without missing a beat. The screen went black.

"Wedding?" Myra looked around at the Smith family, her confusion was reflected on their faces, "Whose  _wedding_?"

Rick let out an exasperated grumbling noise and then pointed towards the door, "ok, you guys get out." He muttered irritably, looking at his family members with an annoyed scowl. They didn't budge and he bared his teeth in frustration, "seriously; get the hell out."

They all left the room, slowly; throwing concerned glances towards Rick and Myra as they headed upstairs.

"Rick; what's going on?" Myra frowned, sensing that his irritation wasn't solely about someone getting married.

"Bird Person is dead." He said, rubbing his face in frustration, "his bride was an undercover galactic federal agent."

Myra felt a wave of nausea at the news. When she had left and severed all contact with the others, she had always thought she would see them all again; sometime in the future. Hearing that one of them was no longer alive, sent a stabbing blade of grief deep inside her.

She stared into empty space, "Squanchy?"

Rick shook his head, "I'm still not a h…hundred percent."

"Fuck." She muttered in disbelief.

There was a moment silence while they both stared into space.

"Well this is morbid." Rick muttered irritably, and attempted to smile, "Wanna go grab a drink?" He asked, his hand lifted his portal gun.

"Sure; only if you're buying- last time I went out drinking with you I had to take out a second mortgage." She smirked, still feeling the grip of sadness hanging over her as Rick shot open a portal.

Rick grinned deviously at her, "or we can just  _not pay at all_."

* * *

Hours later, they were still at the alien bar Rick had portalled to. Both were exceptionally drunk, slurring thickly as they sat in a booth; still making attempts to catch up, while gently probing each other with questions. They both knew they were dancing around the serious issues from the past three decades and years prior; yet neither wanted to come out with their true queries – they would have to get  _FAR_  more intoxicated.

"Beth turned out to be a pretty decent woman!" Myra slurred, feeling herself swaying in her seat slightly, "I mean, weren't you worried she was going to kill some of the neighbourhood kids, at one point?"

Rick laughed and dragged his hand down his face, "She fucking trapped one of t…them in Froopy Land, the pshyco bitch." He shook his head.

Myra smiled, and threw back another shot, "I mean, at least she  _has_  family. Ben's head is so far up his own ass; I'm sure he'd procreate with himself, if he could."

Rick grinned at her, "W…wouldn't we all?" He belched, leaning back in his booth chair, "B-but to be fair, sex w…with other people i-is far more enjoyable."

Myra nodded dismissively and glanced around the strange bar, inhaling the stale aroma of body odour, vomit and booze which permeated the air. Rick used to take her to alien bars all the time, when they were younger. It was odd that, even after all the years that had passed, she still enjoyed his company. It amazed and perplexed her, all at once.

"So, are y-you going to tell me where you were hiding, all t…these years?" Rick belched.

She turned to look at him again, noting how he slouched back in his chair, attempting to appear indifferent.

"I wasn't  _hiding_." She slurred, feeling irritable as the lie came out, "I was  _avoiding_."

"Same dif….ference." Rick burped and wiped his mouth with the back of his forearm. He gulped down another drink and stared at her with a critical glare. He was still trying to read her.

Myra frowned at him, "You wanted to try and make things work with Dianne. I was clearly obstructing any chance of your marriage working." She was surprised at how bitter the words came out. "She loathed me, Rick; I did it for the both of you." She was feeling oddly emotional; the alcohol was clearly affecting her.

Rick stared down at the table, "Obviously didn't work."

"Clearly not." Myra added, "But at least you have family; Beth and your grandkids seem ok – Jerry… is… well, fuck that guy." She muttered. There was no denying the fact that Jerry was an irritating coward of an imbecile; she wouldn't try to polish that turd.

"Ugh and I got rid of him too!" Rick dragged his hands down his face in frustration, "T-they were getting a  _divorce_!"

"Hey two-legs!" An alien suddenly called out, seizing their attention.

It was a strange, scaled creature with four legs and a fin-like appendage on its coarse head. Myra could only think of a pineapple as she tried to focus her eyes on its strange face.

"You." The creature grinned, its eight, beady maroon eyes narrowed as it eyed her up-and-down.

"She's not interested." Rick muttered, throwing back another shot. He didn't so much as glance over at the alien.

"My friends and I are very interested in some alone time with you." The alien grinned, ignoring Rick as it stared at her, "We will pay rather well, considering you are so… exotic." It licked it's scaled lips as it continued to glance at her up and down.

Rick was suddenly on his feet, "L-look, sh-she's not interested in indulging y…your weird  _fetishes."_

"We are a select group of males, whom enjoy the different types of females the galaxy has to offer." The alien continued, briefly giving Rick and annoyed glare.

Rick opened his mouth to say something, but Myra stood up and smirked at the alien, swaying on the spot. "Let me see if I have this correct." She smirked, "You would like me to go have some, weird-ass  _gangbang_  with you and your horny little friends over there?" Myra gestured to the group of aliens who were all staring at her, "Do you even  _know_  how to have sex with a female from earth?" She poked him in the chest, feeling annoyed, "Do you  _know_  how to make her  _enjoy_  intercourse, Mr Pineapple-head?"

Rick snorted, and stood up, "Ok, well this was fun, while it lasted." He gripped her arm, "T…time to go."

Myra yanked away from his grasp, "Shh, I want to hear what this guy has to offer." She scowled, "now, do you pay me  _before,_ or after?"

Rick frowned at her, "L-let's go; you're drunk."

"Hey, the lady wants to be shown a good time." The alien said, suddenly tugging on Myra's other arm.

Myra was suddenly furious. With one, swift motion, she whirled around and punched the creature in the face. He was sent flying into the group that had been watching her intently.

"Great…." Rick muttered irritably, as he reached inside his lab coat pocket for his portal gun. "I-I really liked this place, too."

He shot open a portal and shoved her through roughly. They appeared in the Smith's loungeroom.

Myra glared at Rick, "You're such a wet blanket."

Rick frowned at her, "L-look, I'm not saying t-that you c….couldn't hold your own; because I made it so you  _could."_ He huffed, swiftly striding over to the couch towards a pile of blankets Beth had left there. He started throwing them over the couch to make an improvised bed. "Y-You can't just go around  _punching_  people in my favourite bars." He strode back over to her and started pushing her towards the couch.

She climbed beneath the blankets and laughed at him, "I apologise; I thought we were having  _fun_."

Rick shook his head, "We  _were_." He said in an annoyed tone, switching off the light as he headed to the kitchen.

"I'm sorry; about your marriage." Myra murmured.

She could head Rick walking away, "Doesn't matter." He muttered.

As she stared into the darkness Myra began to wonder how long they would be able to avoid the real issue. She had initially only intended to stay a few days before she headed back home; though now she was wondering if they'd even  _start_  to approach the situation before then.

She rolled over and closed her eyes with an exasperated huff. Everything could wait until she was sober; there was no harm in putting it off for one more night, was there?


	3. Chapter 3

Prom was the first instance that had begun to alter the dynamics of Myra's world completely.

The weeks had ticked by with a boorish normality and she had found herself eagerly awaiting  _the_  question. It was the question all the girls were waiting for, either from the target of their infatuation, or from a boy whom they had  _never_  pictured asking them to go to the prom.

It was quite the kerfuffle; girls would squeal with frantic delight whenever the boy they wanted, posed the question; likewise, they would turn their nose up at the poor boys they deemed inferior and send them slinking back to the sidelines. Myra watched everything unfold with sheer fascination; it was almost a primitive desire that seemed to drive both sexes and she was utterly intrigued by it all.

Being an elitist school, in the 60's, girls were grossly outnumbered by boys. Myra had been pleasantly avoiding all contact with boys she had suspected wanted to ask her to the prom; all the while waiting for the one person she assumed would  _truly_  want to ask her, at any given moment. Though things were always going to be black and white with Rick.

She was walking through the hallways of the school with Rick, temporarily rolling her eyes as Katherine Mathers screamed with eagerness as Carl Michaels asked her to prom. As the school's popular 'power-couple' it truly came as no surprise; Myra wondered why it seemed to be a necessity for her to squeal so shrilly.

"Can y-you believe this shit?" Rick muttered irritably "W-who even  _wants_  to go to prom?" He was frowning as he glared at Katherine and Carl screaming and jumping up and down in excitement.

Myra shrugged, "It's a rite of passage; a once in a lifetime deal." She found herself smirking as the words came out.

Rick made a disgusted noise, "Please tell me  _you_  of all people aren't buying into t-t-this crap?"

Myra laughed, feeling sheepish suddenly, "Maybe I want to give into the idea of normalcy, for one evening." She shrugged, "Who knows; maybe it  _won't_  be the end of the world."

Rick frowned at her, "Y-you've completely lost your mind." He was shaking his head, "Even if a guy i-is stupid enough to ask you; he's going to have high expectations for y-you to  _put out_."

Myra's eyes went wide with shock, "What?!" She scowled, feeling the urge to throttle Rick, "No  _decent_  boy would expect  _sex_  at the end of prom!" she snapped in a low tone, feeling embarrassed someone would hear their conversation.

Rick shrugged and laughed at her, "H-hey all guys are sexual deviants, regardless of any  _decency_. I-It's practically all we think about; I know girls probably are the same too- l-l-let's not take this to a sexist place, Morty. Y-you girls have been through a l-lot to fight for equality…" He sounded suddenly defensive, "I-if anything, for a-all I know, you females are even  _more_  perverted than guys, Morty."

Myra frowned at him, "Where did you hear that thing; about the guys expecting girls to put out?" She said, dismissing his rambling.

Rick shrugged, "I hear them talking about it all the time. I-i-it's literally all they have been talking about since the date for prom was announced." He glared irritably as another girl squealed nearby, "I-it's all about ' _peace and love'_ ; Am I right?" He said in a sarcastic tone.

Myra shrugged, "You're not wrong, but you're also not  _right."_  She found herself frowning, "If some guy asks me to the prom, will he  _really_  expect me to throw my legs up in the air?"

Rick chuckled at her, "T-that's quite the mental image. Make sure to take photos for me."

Myra frowned at him as they reached the front of the school, feeling her chance of going to the prom with him slipping away. Rick didn't want to go to the prom; he certainly didn't seem to have any intention of asking her. She expected him to; they were best friends. She couldn't tolerate the idea of another guy  _asking_  her, let alone  _actually going_  to prom with them.

Rick glanced over his shoulder at her as he reached the stairs, "You coming?" He frowned, "Y-you're, kind of, my ride home." He cocked his monobrow at her curiously, and Myra noticed she had stopped in her tracks.

Myra frowned and stepped past him, "Fine." She muttered, resisting the urge to push him down the stairs. He may have been the smartest person in the world; but sometimes he was so  _stupid_.

Myra had been asked by three boys to go to the prom. Three times she had politely, and irritably declined respectable dates; until the week before prom finally rolled around.

She was reading in the shade of a tree in the school yard; she loved the solitude and had been treating Rick with cold indifference increasingly as the days past. Rick seemed to take it as a que to give her space and had made himself scarce.

"Hey… Myra?" Bobby sounded jittery as he interrupted her reading.

She glanced up from her book and met his nervous gaze. He wasn't an attractive boy, with pockmarked skin and a thickset of braces desperately trying to fix his crooked teeth. Her parents would have  _loved_  for her to date and marry him; his parent's wealth rivalled their own.

"Hello Bobby." Myra attempted to sound pleasant, though her tone was thick with annoyance, "What can I do for you?"

"Well…" He seemed to be visibly shaking as he trailed off, "I heard you didn't have a date for prom…" He trailed off again.

Myra had a reputation for being not only smart, but incredibly violent when people annoyed her. The other female students had avoided her with a wide girth since she had ripped a considerable portion of a girl, called Martha's hair out in third grade. She was also responsible for testicular trauma in a boy in fifth grade, after he had made a comment about her being a bitch. She was known as 'Myra the dragon-lady'; red-headed and hot-tempered.

The only reason she hadn't been expelled, was because her parents had paid a considerable amount of 'compensation' fees; they were determined she was capable of behaving, and were adamant that she remain at this school. Her grades were also impressive, and she hadn't caused any issues with faculty, which also helped her cause.

The kids had let her be, and she loved it. Rick seemingly enjoyed it too, relishing in the fact that she could clear an entire room for them with a single glare.

"So…" Bobby muttered, bringing her attention back, "Would you like to go to prom with me?"

Myra frowned, glancing back down at her book, in an attempt, to cool her head, "No, thank you." She frowned, "I am waiting for someone  _else_  to ask me."  _Anyone_  else, truly.

"If you're talking about Rick…" Bobby trailed off slightly as she suddenly glared at him over her book, "H-He's told everyone he's asked Rebecca… because… you know?"

Myra found herself frowning in surprise and disgust. Rebecca Carter was known as the 'school bike'. Her parents were completely buying into the 'peace and love' movement and had seemingly embraced her sexual activity. Myra wasn't entirely sure if anyone, male or female, should be celebrated for being so promiscuous.

"He really asked her?" Myra asked, feeling suddenly irritated by the thought.

Bobby nodded nervously, "Well…. He said it would be an easy conquest for him… because she's had a crush on him forever..."

Myra glanced back down at her book. So, Rick wanted to ditch her for that bimbo; so be it.

"Fine." She muttered to Bobby, "I will go with you. Don't wear anything other than a  _black_  suit. Pick me up at seven, on the dot. You can arrange the limo and everything else tedious that goes with prom." She waved, "bye-bye."

She glimpsed up as he walked away, seemingly impressed with himself. She noticed Rick was making his way towards her with two chocolate bars in hand; he shot Bobby a questioning frown, before he plonked down on the grass beside her.

"W-w-what's that dipshit so happy about?" Rick frowned, dropping one of the bars in her lap.

"You're looking at the wonderous specimen that is my prom date." Myra muttered in a sarcastic tone, marking her page and placing her book aside. She started unwrapping the chocolate bar.

Rick snorted, and then his eyes went wide when he realised she wasn't joking, "Oh my  _god_ ; you're  _serious?"_  He laughed in disbelief, "y-y-you're actually going to the prom with  _that_  guy?" He shook his head, "what the  _fuck?"_

"Well…" Myra said with a mouthful of chocolate, "Certainly doesn't hold a candle to Rebecca Carter." she shrugged, "But I'm not aiming for 'free love'."

Rick was frowning at her, "I-I haven't even asked her yet." He shrugged, "Guess I'd better hurry up; I-I-I heard she's  _SUPER_  eager." He grinned suddenly.

Myra shrugged, "I bet she is." She sighed in frustration suddenly, "I should have just said yes to John; he at least asked me with  _confidence_." She was frowning. John Miller was one of the jock boys; he was pleasing to the eyes and nice; the major drawback was he had rocks in his head. She hadn't been able to hold a decent conversation with him; she felt her braincells deteriorating in his mere presence.

Rick snorted, "Well…. Sure." He shrugged again, "But your parents will certainly be  _thrilled_  with Bobby." He nudged her teasingly and she shoved him back.

"Well, I guess I will have to try and make the most of my  _date_." She drew the word out as though it left a bad taste in her mouth. She wasn't going to enjoy a single minute in Bobby Fisher's company; but she wanted to see if Rick would give her any indication of caring. She glanced side-long at him as they ate their chocolate bars.

"I-If you're talking about doing  _that_  with Bobby; Y-y-you're never going to live that down, Morty." Rick smirked at her, "You'll be forever tainted for other men."

"Who said I am even interested in men?" Myra growled, feeling annoyed, "Who said I can't be a lesbian?"

Rick snorted, "Come on; I've read your diaries." He said with a mouthful of chocolate, " _Oh Robert, why do you have to be such a handsome hunk of a man_?" He grinned widely, and ducked as she attempted to thrash him with her book. He let out a little chuckle of amusement.

"That was an  _old dairy_." Myra said, feeling her cheeks burning in shame and violation. She had stopped keeping journals some years prior, luckily enough; Rick didn't grasp her need for mental privacy. "Who's to say that I don't like  _both?"_

Rick shot her a stare as if to say she wasn't fooling anyone and she frowned back in response.

"C'mon, Morty!" Rick said, suddenly leaping to his feet, "I don't feel like school; let's go do something  _fun_."

Myra climbed to her feet, frowning at him, "Maybe if I didn't have to drive you everywhere I could actually stay in school for an entire day." She smirked as he snorted.

"We both know school is merely an institution for stupid people." He grinned, "W-we're far too intelligent to waste our massive brains here." He gestured all around them with a wave of his arms, "L-let's go do some  _real_  science." He started walking off towards the car.

Myra shook her head as she followed him. He may have been an arrogant asshole, with little to no emotional depth to him; that was completely evident. What irritated her the most was the fact she didn't want to change him for the world.

* * *

Agonising pain struck the moment Myra opened her eyes. The dreaded after-effects of her late-night bender with Rick were already taking their toll on her; daylight hadn't even struck. She grimaced in anguish as she sat up, cradling her head as she glimpsed around the dark room. Even though her body hadn't aged; she was far too old to have been drinking so much.

The faint glow of the power button on the TV and DVR was the only immediate light-source she could make out. She winced as she shakily stood up, wondering where the hell Rick was. He had the best hangover cures she had ever known and she desperately wanted one.

Myra doubted he was asleep; her rarely slept. He hadn't gotten completely plastered, so he wouldn't have passed out drunk like she had. Her logic drove her to the conclusion he would be wide awake and in the garage; so that was where she headed. She squinted through the darkness as she bumped her way through the kitchen, towards the garage. Myra could make out a faint glow of the light streaming beneath the closed door, and she fumbled around for the handle.

She succeeded after several blind attempts and opened the door without hesitation. Rick was slumped over his workbench, snoring up a storm as he slept in a pool of his own saliva. She found herself shaking her head; so much for assuming he  _hadn't_  passed out drunk.

Myra shook her head and glimpsed around the garage, knowing that he would have stored the hangover cures somewhere near his workbench. Myra glimpsed at the pin board on the back wall and walked over with a thoughtful frown. She plucked out one of the pins and placed it elsewhere, delighted when it lifted to reveal a compartment.

A variety of inventions and power sources glowed in the dim light as she reached in and plucked out a container of a bright, pink, gooey substance. Myra also retrieved a glass from the compartment and replaced the pin in the board, watching as it slid back into place.

"Glad your storage senses are somewhat similar." She murmured, glancing briefly at the unconscious Rick as she poured a small amount of the slime into the glass. Myra's silvery eyes focused on the substance before she tipped it into her mouth; resisting her urge to gag at the consistency as it slid down her throat.

Her eyes wandered back to Rick as she composed herself; feeling the relief surge as her headache vanished, "Let's get you into bed, old man."

Luckily, she had been given the grand tour of the house earlier; Myra stepped forward and scooped him up in her arms effortlessly; extremely taken aback at how light he was.

"You really haven't been looking after yourself, have you?" she murmured and shook her head, jumping as she saw someone leaning against the doorframe. It was Summer.

"I'm sorry, am I interrupting a little moment here?" Summer asked with a smug grin.

Myra smiled back in response, "Hardly." She eyed the younger girl inquisitively, "can't sleep?"

Summer snorted, "My four o'clock alarm went off so I thought I'd come check on Rick. He pays me to make sure that he gets into bed if he passes out drunk; which is pretty much  _every_  night."

Myra raised her eyebrows in surprise, "You've certainly got his trust and respect." She said, stepping past Summer to head towards Rick's room.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Summer frowned as she followed her through the kitchen.

"Well, if he's asking you to look after him when he's the most vulnerable; he's literally trusting you with his life." Myra stated, "That's the highest praise anyone can get from this asshole."

Summer paused, appearing deep in thought as they walked up the stairs, "I'm guessing you used to have this job?" she inquired with a frown, "Unless you're doing it out of kindness, which in my grandpa's case, is laughable."

Myra shrugged, "We've been through quite a lot together; it's more out of familiarity than necessity or kindness." She murmured in a hushed tone as they neared the bedrooms. She turned into Rick's room, glimpsing around the basicness of it all, inhaling the familiar stench that was Rick.

She placed him on the bed and pulled the covers up with a scowl as Rick burped in her face.

"Disgusting." She frowned, turning on her heel. Summer was standing in the doorway.

"I better get back to bed; y'know, school and all that." Summer shrugged.

"If you're awake and will find it difficult to return to sleep; I have a proposition for you." Myra smirked, waving the old portal gun, Rick had given her in the air suddenly, "How would you like to go on a little adventure?"

Summer smirked back in response, "Lady, I like your style."

* * *

Rick awoke, feeling abhorrently hungover. After he had left Myra on the couch, he had decidedly gone on an extensive drinking bender. Anything that would help him pass out and stop the memories of the past that had continued to annoy him since he had laid eyes on his old friend.

It was increasingly bothersome that she would not reveal her true intention for appearing so suddenly. At first, he had suspected that she would reveal that her son, Ben, was his biological son. Though, as he had thought about it more and more, it was a disgusting cliché; even if it were true, there was no true reason for her to suddenly show up after thirty years to reveal something so trivial to him.

No, he was getting the inclination that something far more drastic was afoot.

He glanced around his simplistic room; his eyes rested on a glass of pink slime beside his bed. Rick felt a slight smirk curve his mouth, despite himself. Good old Myra.

He gulped the substance down, feeling the instant relief clear his head.

"Better?" Myra's voice sounded from the doorway and Rick jumped.

"I-I fucking  _knew_  I should install you with a proximity alarm!" Rick snapped, feeling irritable as he looked at her. Her red hair was hanging in wet strands around her face as she leant against the doorframe; she was not long out of the shower. She looked amused by his reaction, her mouth curved into a bemused smirk as she stepped forward.

"Come on, old man; Summer and I took the liberty of getting breakfast for everyone, while you slept." Her tone was laced with humour as she grinned at him, "Get your rickety ass out of bed and join us." She turned on her heel to make her way downstairs.

Rick scowled to himself as he climbed out of bed. He wasn't going to let her tiptoe around much longer; he was going to get her intentions out of her by the end of the day.


	4. Chapter 4

"So… no-one is going to acknowledge t-t-that Jerry is naked?" Rick frowned as he sat at the breakfast table. Why did Beth decide to stay married to that imbecile?

"We  _did_  – he's just pretending that he meant to do it." Myra shrugged, "I mean, from what I've heard everyone in this household is somewhat desensitized to male nudity; mostly due to your antics."

"Meaning t-they're used to  _Rick_  n…udity; not Jerry." Rick shot back, pointing his fork at her accusingly, "The question is; why are  _you_  so ok with it?"

Myra frowned, "I never said I was ok with it." She turned and looked Jerry in the eye, "I'm really  _not_  ok with what you are doing and subjecting your kids to right now." She glanced back at Rick, "What are you trying to accuse me of, exactly?"

"T-t-that you're an old, perverted lady." Rick shrugged, "I mean, normal people aren't ok with random nudity."

Myra shot him an agitated glare, "We both know that I'm the queen of desensitisation."

Rick smirked, "It's true, when she was at college, she once walked t…hrough the men's locker rooms while virtually  _every_  guy had t-t-their junk airing out in the open."

Jerry started to sneak off while no-one was paying attention. It was a poor effort, but no-one so much as glimpsed at him. Who in their right mind  _would_?

"What?" Morty interjected suddenly, " _Why_  would y-y-you do that?"

Myra frowned, "Your grandfather thought he could hide in there and avoid getting punched in the face."

"Oh my god, what did you do?!" Summer gasped, glaring at Rick.

"I'm more interested in the fact my father was  _afraid_  of her." Beth looked intrigued.

"I-I was a male, of course I did some…thing that upset her!" Rick belched and threw his arms up in the air in sheer frustration, "A-and at that point, my botched experiment had made her physically capable of levelling a building; what unarmed person  _wouldn't_  be afraid of her?"

Myra opened her mouth to say something, but a portal suddenly opened behind her, sucking her inside. It snapped closed and the Smith's and Rick stared into empty space for several, silent moments.

"Well, that's  _one_  way of avoiding a boring family meal." Rick muttered, taking a lengthy sip of his orange juice.

"Grandpa Rick!" Summer shouted. She and Morty were already on their feet.

"So, some Rick just  _abducts_  your friend and y-y-you're suddenly ok with it?" Morty was shaking his head in annoyance, "Y-y-you literally just got her back in your life."

Rick stood up with a weary sigh, "Geeze M-m-Morty, I thought I almost cared for a second there; quite the pep talk." He frowned in annoyance. Of course, he was going to go after her; he was too selfish to let her get out of everything  _that_ easy. He reached into his lab coat pocket and withdrew his portal gun, quickly tracing energy residue and location of the other Rick's gun.

He felt a surge of frustration as the co-ordinates flickered onto the portal gun's small screen, "Fucking great." He huffed, feeling the irritation boil his blood.

"Where is she?" Summer asked, trying to peer at the screen where she stood.

"C'mon, Morty." Rick muttered, shooting open a portal on the wall, "L-looks like we've got some dipshit to rescue from the Citadel."

"Yaaay…" Beth muttered sarcastically.

* * *

Rick was more annoyed than usual as he was getting ready for prom. His mother was fussing over him incessantly, preening him more than she had ever done before. He knew she was just glad that he was going; he had repeatedly told her that he had no interest in it; only to tell her otherwise at the last moment.

"I still can't believe that you and Myra aren't going  _together_!" His mother huffed, combing his crazed hair into place as he frowned at her. "I really thought you would have asked her to go!"

Rick rolled his eyes, "We're friends mom; why the  _fuck_  w-would I want to change or complicate things?"

"Language." His mother said in a warning tone, "I know that you are  _friends_  with her; I just always thought you might have liked her…. A little  _more_  than a friend."

His father snorted from the recliner chair nearby, "We should just be thankful that he's taking a  _girl_  along with him."

Rick scowled at his father's words.

"Is Myra at least coming over for photos?" Rick's mother pouted as she ignored his father. She scooped a mass of her red hair back into place as she straightened up to admire her handiwork.

Rick shrugged, "I don't know. Does it matter?" He was feeling annoyed by her constant questioning.

His mother placed her hands on her hips, "Richard, it's the absolute least I expect from you two. Photos of both of you." She grinned at him, her pretty face brightened, "Even  _friends_  have to get their photos taken together for prom."

Rick frowned at her, "Fine." He muttered, folding his hands across his chest in frustration. Who was he to refuse his own mother?

The truth was, he was annoyed that Myra hadn't drawn the conclusion they were going to prom together. Did he have to spell out every fucking detail for her? When he had heard she had turned three guys down already, he assumed she knew they were going together; it was the logical thing. Myra was such an idiot.

He had stupidly boasted to the other boys at school, about how he was going to ask Rebecca Carter, because she was 'easy'; only because they already teased him relentlessly about being just  _friends_  with Myra.

There was a knock on the door, and Rick snapped back to the present. His mother peeked out the curtains and then clapped her hands excitedly.

"Myra is here!" she grinned, virtually skipping towards the front door.

Rick frowned and rolled his eyes. He could hear the sound of the door opening, followed by a shrill squeal of delight from his mother.

" _OH, MY GOODNESS YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL_!" his mother shrieked and rushed back into the living room. "Rod, grab the camera!" she was beaming as she glanced at Rick's father and vanished around the corner once more.

"Woah, calm down, Mrs Sanchez!" Myra exclaimed as Rick's mother continued to laugh and clap her hands.

Rick's father nudged him, suddenly seizing his attention. Rick looked up at the stern man, both frowned at each other bitterly before his dad spoke, "That girl is the best darn thing about you." He said, shaking his head, "She makes your asshole antics somewhat tolerable. Make sure to smile in at least  _one_ photo." His father thrust the camera into Rick's hands and wandered back towards the armchair.

His father rarely spoke to him; he wasn't the most 'hands on' dad. Rick wasn't entirely sure if he had just been given the Rodrigo Sanchez version of a pep-talk; though it certainly felt like it. Rick's dad wasn't one to mince words; he knew what he liked and didn't like and there were a  _lot_  of things that Rod  _didn't_  like. To hear that he actually enjoyed another living person was a rarity; let alone someone who  _willingly_  associated with Rick. Rick didn't know what to make of the whole deal.

His mother suddenly rushed into the room and snatched the camera up, "Hurry up; we need photos!" Her entire face was bright with a happiness Rick had not seen in her for years. Being married to his father had gradually sucked the life out of her over the years; but looking at her then, Rick could almost assume it had come back in the one hit.

Myra walked into the room and Rick felt surprised. For someone who hated wearing dresses, she certainly looked good in one. She was wearing a lavender-coloured dress, which flattered her lean figure; her face was livened and softened with a light splash of makeup. She wasn't harsh on the eyes before she had been dolled up; though he was feeling like he was looking at her with a fresh set of eyes. She  _did_  look beautiful; there was no denying it.

"L-l-look at you." Rick found himself grinning, "For a moment there I-i-I could almost see a fucking  _girl."_  He laughed teasingly.

"Richard!" His mother snapped, "She looks so beautiful; you do sweetie, you look like an angel!" Mrs Sanchez was smiling as she turned to Myra.

"Thanks… I think my mother went a little overboard with everything; but I decided to give her a little win. I mean, I will be moving  _far_  away after graduation." She smiled as she looked at Rick, "Not bad, Rick Sanchez; nice to see that hair calmed down for once." She smirked, glancing up at his smoothed down hair.

Rick's mother started insistently taking an array of photographs with both of them. It felt like hours ticked by until there was another knock on the door. Mrs Sanchez disappeared to go and answer it. Rick knew it was probably Rebecca; her told her to drop by his house, rather than having to go pick her up.

"I'm already over prom, and it hasn't even started." Myra moaned in a frustrated tone. "This dress is the  _worst_."

"You actually look pretty nice." Rick shrugged, "It suits you." His hand absent-mindedly wandered to an object concealed in his pocket. His hand grasped a tiny little medicine bottle of a laxative solution he planned to use later to deal with both Bobby and Rebecca in one hit. There was no way he was going to let Myra off so easily for being an idiot. She wasn't going to ditch him tonight.

Rebecca and Bobby had arrived. Myra loitered around long enough to get another bombardment of photos before she said her goodbyes to Rick and his parents before she disappeared to get more photos taken by her own mother.

The next few hours had passed relatively slowly. Myra's father had driven them all to the prom in the Skylark he had given his daughter as an early graduation present. He never said a single word, even as he drove off; Myra didn't look phased by it in the slightest. Rick guessed she was used to him not giving two shits about anything; other than  _money_.

The dance had been boring. Rick danced with Rebecca, feeling increasingly annoyed with her shrill, constant babble. As he looked around, he noticed Myra looked fed up with the evening; he could tell she was itching to leave. Bobby sat next to her awkwardly at a table, and Rick noticed Myra rolled her eyes every, single time Bobby so much as opened his mouth. She hadn't even danced with the fuckwit.

Rick had successfully carried out his plan and managed to spike Rebecca's and Bobby's drinks with the laxative. He grinned in a devilish humour as they raced off, some moments later; knowing that they were about to shit themselves uncontrollably.

He started searching around for Myra, surprised to see her dancing with Robert Miller. She had constantly denied being attracted to him for years; despite Rick having read her diary, which contradicted her words. She was smiling, even laughing as he said something to her.

Rick felt an unfamiliar surge of anger and jealousy boiling inside of him. He slumped down in a seat and folded his arms across his chest, glaring at them. Myra was  _his_  friend;  _his_  lackey. No-one else had claim to her- Rick virtually  _owned_  her from the day that they met. She owed him  _everything_. Why the hell was she dancing with that asshole? Why was she laughing? He wasn't even funny.

The realisation hit him hard as the song ended. Myra was another living person with her own free will; he couldn't  _control_ her; even with the neurological chip he had installed in her. But he knew he  _wanted_  to control her; he wanted her to look at him the way she had looked at Robert – wanted her to do sick, nasty things to him. He expected that she would; she owed him that much, at least. But, wanting and expecting things never got anyone anywhere.

"That was something." Myra let out a dreamy sigh as she flopped down in a chair beside Rick, "In another life, I would have melted at the very idea of Robert touching me, let alone dancing with me so…close." She trailed off as she stared at Rick, "What crawled into your rectal cavity and died?"

Rick frowned, "Nothing! This whole dance is lame and stupid. Why the fuck did I make t-t-the mistake of coming?"

Myra tilted her head slightly as she glimpsed at him, he watched as a few stray curls slid into her face as she frowned, "Because this may very well be the last boorish teenager thing we do together, Rick Sanchez." She stated, her silvery eyes were intense, "Now, if you think that you're getting away without dancing with me tonight; you're in for a rude awakening." She began to grin as she yanked him to his feet as a slow song began to play.

Rick felt a smirk curving his mouth as she pulled him towards the dancefloor and tugged him close. Her arms wound around his neck and he directed his hands down to her waist, feeling oddly awkward. She smiled up at him, her eyes were bright as she boldly pressed her body against him.

He felt the warmth of her body surge through him, smelt the sweet, citrusy scent of her perfume as she leant her head against his shoulder. A sudden, uncomfortable tightness in his pants alarmed him; now was not the time for an awkward boner.

Odd, that he had seen her naked countless times in their youth, but all he was thinking about was her completely nude. He saw her body had changed, had filled out in all the desirable places; he wanted to see it, to  _feel_  it. He had assumed sex in general would be amazing; but sex with  _Myra_  would be particularly interesting.

"Hey  _nerds_." One of the jock boys seized their attention suddenly, slow-dancing with a girl beside them on the dancefloor. "Robert wants to know if you two are coming to the party at his place later?" Rick noticed how his eyes solely focused on Myra, meaning that he was only interested in if  _she_  was going.

"A party?" Myra murmured, glancing at Rick briefly, "Sure, we'll be there!"

"Right on!" the boy grinned back in response and disappeared into the crowd once more.

"Are you insane?" Rick mumbled, "You  _hate_  parties."

" _We_  hate parties." She corrected, "But I want to spend more time with you; after all, I will be leaving for college in a few months…"

Rick frowned, grabbing her waist tightly suddenly, "Fine. We will go to the stupid party"

Her face suddenly flushed bright red and he smirked in response. He held her firmly, noting how she looked timid and embarrassed. Did she  _enjoy_  being manhandled?

His mind suddenly worked overtime on ways he could turn this sudden plan changer in his favour. By the end of the night, he was going to make sure he publicly ruined her for all men.

* * *

" _Morty_!" The sudden chorus of voices caught Myra completely off-guard as she landed on her feet on the other side of the portal. Her eyes went wide as she saw where she was, and who she was surrounded by. Ricks; Ricks everywhere.

"Oh shit…" she murmured, feeling on-edge.

"Ah we thought we lost you, Morty!" One Rick grinned, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, "W-w-we managed to find you; Y-y-you know, you've caused quite the situation here for an infinite number of us."

Another Rick slipped his hand around her waist and grinned, "We don't really like  _sharing_ , well, except for J26; but we all know he likes to cross swords with friends and family alike."

"What the hell is going on here?" Myra asked, feeling uncomfortable with the stares she was getting.

"Well, we started getting concerned. Myras were vanishing from timelines. Just one-day a-and  _poof!"_ the first Rick said, staring her in the eyes intently, "W-w-we managed to track  _you_  down though."

"We generally have a 'no chicks allowed' policy on the citadel, but I think we're all in agreement here that we can make an exception for the original Morty?" One rick grinned, glancing around at the others, who all nodded in concurrence.

"J-just be sure to make sure those uptight asshole guards and cops don't get wind of this." One, particularly dishevelled Rick warned, "I don't t-think the president would be too happy about this."

Myra shoved the Ricks away from her, "Let me get this straight, this is a city, full of you guys?" She was frowning, "And some of you banded together to abduct me, for seemingly no reason?" She was getting a headache.

The Rick who had slung his arm around her neck stepped forward with a shrug, "We all come from timelines where there was a Myra in our immediate lives. One of us was stupid enough to have a  _LOT_ of kids with you." He jerked his thumb at dishevelled Rick, "But the one thing that seems to be pretty common p….lace is y-y-you are  _disappearing_  for some reason."

Myra frowned at them, wishing she had been smart enough to keep a portal device on her at all times. These Ricks were really starting to make her feel uncomfortable with the way they were staring at her.

"Ok, here's the deal." Myra frowned, "I don't like the way some of you old geezers are looking at me." She pinched the bridge of her nose to avoid the surge of frustration from bubbling over. "Return me… _please_." She held up her hand to silence them as they started to laugh, "Now, need I point out that I asked you guys  _nicely?_ " She growled, clenching her fists as the anger boiled over, "We all know that I will go she-hulk on your asses if I have to ask again."

None of them looked concerned in the slightest.

"We want Myras back." One Rick shrugged, "logic drove us to the conclusion that  _you_  have something to do with the disappearances. Y-you aren't going any…where." He belched.

Myra swung a punch towards the nearest Rick. A sudden jab in her back caught her off-guard as pain and electrical energy surged through her body. She collapsed in a writhing heap, the world around her grew suddenly foggy.

"Jesus Christ, C-143, lower the voltage on t-that fucking thing; we aren't trying to fry her brain you dickwad!" one Rick shouted.

"Ah shit." One Rick knelt down beside her, checking her pulse on her neck, "Sh-she needs medical attention now, are you fucking happy, C-143."

"Who invited  _that_  idiot?!"

The world went black.


	5. Chapter 5

"A-are we sure about this, Rick?" Morty sounded typically nervous as they strode through the streets of the citadel.

Rick's eyes were concentrated on the screen before him. Lucky, that he had secretly stolen a few strands of Myra's hair when she was passed out drunk. He knew that he would have to track her down sooner or later; but not on the Citadel. He suspected she had managed to get herself into some deep shit, though he was completely uncertain what could have other Ricks so uptight that they felt the need to abduct her so ridiculously.

"I'm certain, Morty. L-l-look around; no-one gives a shit." Rick muttered, feeling increasingly annoyed, "As long as we aren't subjected to any random checks we'll be fine." His eyes focused on the little flashing dot on his screen, pausing as they neared a road.

Morty was peering around, "This sure looks like it could be a bad neighbourhood…"

Rick briefly glanced up, "A-actually, they've really cleaned this place up since the last time I was here. This used to be Morty Town." He frowned suddenly, noting how clean everything looked. It was as though they had made some recent upgrades to the area. The notion that things could have politically changed crossed his mind before he decided it wasn't the time to go poking around in that regard.

He stared at the flashing dot on the screen once more, glancing up to a building across the street; Myra was there. He cringed at the name "Thicc Rick's? Ugh gross."

"I-is that what I  _think_  it is?" Morty was frowning in premature disgust.

"I-I really hope not, Morty; chances are that it  _IS_. I r…eally encourage you to cover your eyes. If I know me, and I  _am_  me; this is going to be some pretty sick and twisted stuff."

They strode over to the entrance, where two buff Rick Guards blocked the way, "No Mortys allowed." one frowned, and suddenly gestured over towards the side of the building, "Ball pit access only; and no -that's not some sick play on words; i-it's a literal ball-pit and bouncy house."

Rick frowned, "Whatever. Morty go play with yourself." He said, shoving Morty towards the alley, "J-just wait here for a few minutes, Morty, while I get this dipshit out of here." He murmured in a low tone. He eyed a bouncy house and a ball-pit, which were sectioned off and guarded by a sleepy-looking guard. Morty wandered off with a scowl, clearly annoyed.

Rick strode back towards the door and the two guards stepped out of his way. Rick entered the doorway, expecting the worst kind of tacky Rick self-cest stripper joint he could imagine as loud cheers erupted. He was surprised to see the centre of the room had been completely cleared, the tables, chairs and stage had been moved to the edges of the room, where a large crowd of Ricks had gathered, crowding around two that occupied the centre of the floor.

They were fighting; their faces were already bloody from successful punches, as they circled each other. Rick shook his head and glanced around, spotting Myra in a large seat in a sectioned-off stage area, which overlooked the fighting ring. She was smirking as the crowd cheered as one landed another successful punch.

She had a Rick lackey on each side, one with dyed black hair and a goatee, the other with muscles similar to the bodyguards out front. Myra certainly didn't look like she needed him; that somehow annoyed Rick in a way he didn't know possible.

Her eyes wandered to him and she gave him a small wave. Had she somehow recognised him, despite the fact he looked identical to all the others? The idea seemed absurd, if not impossible as he suspiciously made his way towards her.

"You look like you're having fun." Rick frowned, folding his arms across his chest as he reached her, "Quite the operation you have g…oing on here."

Myra smiled, "I am, in fact, rather enjoying myself." She waved her hands at the other two Ricks and they left them.

"What the hell is happening here exactly?" Rick frowned, gesturing to the fighting ring.

"You know, I don't really know." Myra laughed to herself, "Myras are disappearing; these Ricks are surprisingly easy to manipulate." She shrugged suddenly.

"So, you just decided to start a Rick fight club for your own amusement?" Rick frowned at her.

"I had to do  _something_  while I waited. These guys aren't exactly willing to let me just wander around. They suspect that I have something to do with the disappearances."

"Do you?" Rick frowned at her.

Myra frowned back in response, "Isn't it obvious?" She said, suddenly looking at him, "It's actually the reason I came to find you, after hearing you were back. I feel that you are the only one who can help."

Rick frowned at her, "Why the hell would I help?"

Myra stared back at the fighting, "I never said you  _had_  to; I'm sure one of these versions of you would be willing to."

That rubbed him the wrong way.

He knew that he didn't have anything to prove to her; that he had no need to feel so uptight over her comparing him to other Ricks, whom she had successfully manipulated. But he certainly felt like he was better than those other assholes; felt like he would somehow prove her wrong and rub her nose in it.

"Don't try to manipulate me." Rick muttered bitterly, taking a swig from his flask. "I-i-it won't work."

Myra shrugged, "Wasn't trying to; what would be the point?" She glanced at him briefly, "It's a statement. All I need is a Rick; I'm sure any single one of you will do."

He felt the twinge of irritation increasing, bubbling beneath his skin. He didn't want to give her the satisfaction, deciding to see if her Neurological impairment chip was still in working order.

"I'm sorry, I was wrong, I love you." Rick muttered with a frown.

Myra turned and looked at him with a smirk, "Well, well, well…" she grinned, "I just  _love_ how you assumed I'd leave that  _thing_  in my head; after thirty years. Quite the hypocrite about manipulation."

Rick shrugged, "It was worth a shot; l-let's go get Morty and get the fuck out of this place."

Myra frowned at him, "So, you  _will_  help me?" she asked, her eyebrow cocked sceptically as she locked eyes with him.

Rick let out an exasperated scowl, "Fine! L-let's just go."

She stood up with a satisfied smirk, no doubt at the prospect she had gotten her way. Rick thought he was long past the days of buckling to another person; he'd have to deal with her newly acquired, irritating superiority complex when they were safely out of the citadel.

"Shall we take our leave, then?" Myra glimpsed at Rick with a questioning expression, her brows furrowed momentarily, "I've noticed a lot of the guys know that I'm not completely invulnerable- they seem to be carrying around some high-voltage tasers, in case I try to leave." She glimpsed at Rick, "So, let's portal outside, grab Morty and go?"

"Funny, how you can get hit by a semitruck going full-pelt and survive, yet t-the  _tiniest_  bit of electrical energy and you're a massive, writhing b….aby. Quite the anomaly we created." He shook his head, reaching into his coat pocket to retrieve his portal gun.

"Quite the anomaly  _YOU_ created." Myra corrected, watching as he shot open a portal on the wall behind them. A few Ricks let out a cry of surprise and annoyance as they stepped through and the portal blinked shut.

"C'mon M….orty." Rick belched loudly as they appeared in the alley next to the Thicc Rick's club. "Dipshit obtained; l-let's get out of here."

Morty looked irritated as he glanced at the other Mortys having a fun time in the ball pit and bouncy house, "T-this is how Ricks choose to entertain us?" He shook his head in disbelief as he stepped through the safety netting, "How are they having fun; what's the  _point?_ "

"Ricks are assholes, Morty." Myra shrugged, "Always have been, always will be."

"Gee thanks." Rick frowned and opened another portal.

"Hey- that's not a regulation portal gun!" a nearby citadel guard shouted, drawing a strange-looking gun.

"Shit." Rick scowled, shoving Morty through the portal without thought. He abruptly tugged Myra through the portal as the guard fired the gun.

A strange, purplish field engulfed the three of them as they entered the portal. Myra suddenly grabbed Rick and Morty in a vice-like embrace, protectively wrapping her body around theirs. They hit something hard, and Rick felt the air escape his lungs, he hit his head against Myra's and suddenly felt his consciousness slipping away.

"Morty!" Rick could hear Myra shout with concern, "Are you ok?"

The world was growing foggy around Rick. That little shit had better be ok; he needed Morty.

"Y-yeah, I scraped my knee, but I think that's it." Morty's voice bought a surge of relief rushing through Rick as the world grew black.

* * *

"So," Morty was walking alongside Myra several hours later, "Tell me something about Rick I don't know."

Myra had slung Rick over her back with some rope, and was wearing him like a backpack. His long, thin legs were dragging on the ground, though that was the least of their problems.

Rick's portal gun had shattered, in his coat, on impact. They had appeared on a strange, alien planet somewhere on the very edge of the Milky Way system. Myra's best guess was the field the Guard Rick had shot at them was some sort of temporal disruptor, which had managed to interrupt the portal they were entering.

"I once successfully barred Rick from a room by placing a wicca chair by the door." Myra grinned, responding to Morty's question.

Morty let out a little laugh in response. They were walking towards an alien building Myra had spotted in the distance earlier; if they found the right resources she would be able to repair Rick's gun. Better yet, the old bastard could do it himself when he came-to.

Rick had been slipping in and out of consciousness since hitting his head against hers. Myra had set to work, making him as comfortable as possible as she quickly crafted a few necessities from the nearby surroundings. She had gone through the contents of Rick's lab coat and was surprised by how many useful things he managed to store in there. She was impressed that after all their years of misadventure, he had started taking so many portable tools with him. Maybe his adventures with his grandson were having some positive effects on him after all. It was an emotionally stirring thought, and she found herself smiling.

Morty was surprisingly level-headed the entire time; he even showed her where Rick stored some healing matter strapped to his leg. He was a caring and charming boy; it surprised Myra that he was an extended biproduct of Rick.

"Rick doesn't exactly tell us a-a-a great deal about his past." Morty was frowning as they walked through the thick, overgrown jungle. "He's kinda secretive, I guess. Which I-is why we were all so full of questions when you suddenly showed up."

Myra nodded, "Rick is more emotional than he lets on. Truth is, he might be  _ashamed_  of a lot of the past;  _his_  past. He wants you all to look up to him; to respect him. Maybe knowing the details behind it all will ruin this front he has been putting on? Maybe he doesn't want people feeling sorry for him? Who knows?"

"Why would he be ashamed of the past?" Morty frowned, "What could ha-a-ave happened to make him so secretive?"

Myra shrugged, "There's a lot that happened in his past- our past- that could, possibly, effect how people think and react to him. While I'm not comfortable betraying the asshole, by revealing gooey details; note that I  _willingly_ consider myself his close friend. For someone who is as ill-tempered and grudge-holding as I am, that should say a  _lot_."

Morty considered her words for a moment, "What  _can_  you tell me about your past then?"

Myra smirked, "We were constantly in trouble at school. We found it boring and mentally wasteful; constantly tried to keep ourselves occupied by playing pranks or skipping classes all-together, to go work on some experiment."

Morty glanced at his unconscious grandfather momentarily, his eyes drawing over his features. "Was he always like this?"

"A milder version, perhaps; but still an asshole." Myra stated with a fond smile, "He completely misses some things with emotional depth; but that's just how he is. I was surprised when he married your grandmother; he never seemed the one who wanted to settle down into family life."

Morty was frowning suddenly, "Well, he  _didn't_  settle; he abandoned my mother and grandma."

Myra bit her tongue suddenly. They were broaching dangerous territory by talking about that era of Rick's life.

"Shh.." She muttered suddenly, drawing Rick's plasma pistol from her pocket, "Did you hear that?"

Morty fell silent momentarily as she pretended to listen intently. He frowned at her suddenly, "Don't try t-that trick with me; Rick does it all the time." He stared at her, "What are you hiding; I have a-a chance to get someone else to tell me everything about my grandpa's life; a-a-and you are being just as stubborn as him!" Morty looked annoyed.

Myra sighed, "Look, buddy…" she turned to him, "I can only tell you so much, and you will hate me; I guarantee it."

Morty shrugged, "Try me."

"Your grandfather and I…. were sort of…used to…." She made some crude gestures with her hands and Morty's expression contorted with disgust.

"Ugh… gross." He frowned, and then turned to her with a serious expression. "H-hey can you do me a favour and  _not_ tell Summer; we sort of had a bet a-and she just won."

"You're taking this rather well…" Myra frowned.

Morty shrugged, "Rick always talks about how platonic relationships with attractive women are completely hypothetical." He smirked, "I connected the dots."

"But you bet  _against_  it?" Myra frowned, "Why?"

Morty shrugged, "Because it was too cliché. I was  _hoping_  that it would be something a little more dramatic and original."

Myra found herself frowning as the truth of his words hit her.

"Compared to the nervous, pubescent sidekick platitude?" Myra muttered sourly, "Sorry to disappoint you by bumping nasties with your grandfather, in the past."

Morty screwed up his face in disgust, "Y-y-you don't have to go into detail, man." He held up his hands defensively, "I-i-in fact, the  _less_ details I know, the better."

They walked in silence for a few moments before Myra let out a little laugh.

"W-what's so funny?" Morty was frowning at her.

"Just the fact that the two of us 'Rick sidekicks', are on an adventure of our own; while I am wearing Rick as a bony, sack on my back." Myra shrugged, "Funny how I haven't needed Rick in my life for decades, yet he's still the first person I came running to when I ran into a little trouble."

Morty glanced at her, "Y-you're in some kind of trouble?" He frowned, "So, you thought it would be ok to drag us all into your mess?" He looked angry, stopping to scowl at her, "Y-you sound just as selfish and irresponsible…"

"Woah, calm those jets, bud." Myra held up her hands defensively, "Look, I may have only come to ask him for help  _AFTER_  I found out he had returned to his family; but I didn't exactly come here on selfish terms. There is an infinite amount of lives that are currently in some sort of limbo because of our asshole son." She paused for a breath, "And Rick is the only person I could imagine would have the means to be able to prevent the cataclysmic events from escalating."

Morty was giving her a funny expression, " _OUR_  asshole son…?"

Myra frowned, "Before you add to the 'disgusting cliché' trope, let me just stop you; Yes, you have a long-lost uncle- no it isn't the reason I tracked Rick down; but due to what Ben  _DID_  out of sheer stupidity and arrogance."

"Which  _was_ ….?" Morty frowned, cocking his eyebrow at her as he stared at her suspiciously.

The ground suddenly trembled beneath their feet and Myra placed a protective hand on Morty, halting him in his tracks as he grasped Rick's plasma pistol tighter, pointing it ahead of him. They both stared around in silence, searching the jungle surroundings for whatever alien creature was large enough to make the very ground shake. Myra clenched her fists, bracing herself for an attack.

The large creature burst through the undergrowth, sending debris and dirt flying. It glared at them with three, menacing red eyes as it paused in it's tracks. Myra noted how its body appeared to be covered in a thick rock-like armour as it towered over them. Its mouth was gaping, drooling a purplish saliva. Something about the way its face was shaped reminded Myra of Sylvester Stallone and she found herself laughing.

"Hey, Rocky Balboa!" she was almost beside herself as she choked on a fit of amusement.

The creature let out a low, rumbling growl, slowly stepping forward. It leant its head down towards her, its teeth were bared in anger before it began to open it mouth wide. She swung her arm back and successfully landed a decent blow beneath it's chin. The creature toppled backwards several steps, before its eyes began to glow with a molten, red fury.

"Get behind me, Morty!" Myra shouted as the creature readied a charge.

"Ugh… w-what the fuck…?" Rick was awake suddenly. He began to jerk around, "WHAT THE FUCK?" He snapped, suddenly aware that he was tied up, "W-what the fuck is this  _Myra_?!"

She ignored him, bracing herself for the impact of the creature. Rick was suddenly free and standing beside her. He rolled his eyes as the creature lunged towards them, his arm suddenly morphed into a large plasma cannon. Rick shot a single blast, and the creature was suddenly evaporated. There wasn't even a sprinkle of dust where it had been.

"Cybernetic augmentations?" Myra frowned as she lowered her fists, "You always said…"

"Doesn't matter." Rick was scowling as his arm folded back into place, "I'm in a different body practically every week; I do whatever the fuck I want." He rummaged through his pockets, retrieving a small syringe of goo, which he swiftly injected into himself. He let out a sigh of relief and shook his head, as if to clear it.

"You have a son." Morty blurted suddenly.

"I know." Rick shrugged.

"A-a-and you don't  _care_?" Morty looked livid.

Rick whirled around on the boy, his expression suddenly dark, "Why the fuck would I  _care,_ Morty?" He pointed an accusing finger at him, "Sh-should I care about the infinite a…mount of alien-Rick hybrid spawn I have out there, floating around in space, Morty?" He scowled, "Why the fuck would I waste time o-o-on something so pointless, Morty?"

Myra shrugged at Morty as he glanced at her, as though he was begging for her to back him up. "If I wanted your grandfather to know about him sooner, I would have made a point of it."

"Y-yeah." Rick belched, and then gave Myra a brief glance, "Now tell me exactly what the fuck you h-have gotten yourself into."

Myra pulled up her pants leg, revealing a pirate tattoo on her right calf. Rick visibly cringed at the sight, "Ugh… not the pirate tattoo." He winced in disgust.

Myra rolled her eyes and pressed her fingers against the tattoo, and a compartment slid open on her leg. A bright, pink light suddenly blazed from within the compartment. Rick glanced at the crystal stowed away in there and whirled around in anger.

"S-so you've clearly gotten yourself into deeper shit than I could have ever assumed." He jabbed his finger at her, "Are you really that  _stupid?"_  He was beside himself with anger, "Why the fuck would you steal one of those things… th-that thing is a fucking ticking timebomb, Myra!"

Myra folded her arms across her chest as Rick continued to rant and berate her.

"W-what is it?" Morty asked, his eyes focused on the tiny gem.

"I-its fucking stupid, is what it is, Morty." Rick snapped, suddenly taking a lengthy drink from his flask, before he began to set to work on his broken portal gun, "Even grandpa isn't as fucking idiotic to go messing around w-w-with those things." He briefly stopped talking, holding his broken gun towards Myra who rolled her eyes.

She lifted her left hand, her fingers slid backwards and formed an assortment of tools. She screwed and fused a few things into place, as Rick set to work tearing apart one of his portable cauterising robotic implants he had in his pocket. Myra watched him work, occasionally fixing something into place for him with her swiss army hands.

He had the portal gun in working order, in virtually no time, and Myra felt irked by the knowledge. Rick visibly relaxed and shot open a portal on the ground, gesturing to Myra, "After you…"

Myra jumped through, appearing in the Smith's living room. She glanced around, surprised by what she saw.

Rick and Morty appeared beside her, and Rick began to frown.

Sitting in the armchair was a man who looked like a younger version of Rick; only he sported a short crop of reddish hair and freckles. He stood up, his stern expression darkened as he folded his arms across his chest.

The 'cats and the cradle' suddenly started chiming.

" _He'd say, I'm gonna be like you, dad  
You know I'm gonna be like you_

 _And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon_  
Little boy blue and the man in the moon  
When you coming home, dad?  
I don't know when  
But we'll get together then, dad  
You know we'll have a good time then"

Jerry sheepishly reached into his pocket and grasped his phone, abruptly rejecting the call, "Sorry…talk about timing though…."

"Shut up, Jerry." Rick and Ben snapped in unison.


	6. Chapter 6

The morning sunlight streamed in through the unfamiliar window as Myra struggled to open her eyes. She glanced around the strange bedroom as she attempted to get her bearings; despite the painful throbbing in her head that was threatening to burst her skull.

She managed to have some very fuzzy recollections of the prom afterparty; she had consumed a lot of alcohol; Rick had encouraged her terrible antics.

_Rick!_

With the sudden thought her eyes whipped around to the mound next to her in the bed.

The messy mass of blueish hair confirmed her anguished memories. It had been a disappointing moment, when all her fantasised expectations came down to a less than a minute experience. Rick had passed out almost immediately afterward. Apparently, so had she.

She clenched her fists in annoyance and punched him in the shoulder.

He jerked awake instantly, "What the fuck!?" He snapped, his eyes were wide and bloodshot as he looked at her wildly, "Nice, uh… breasts you have there." He was grinning, despite the fact he had been so rudely awoken.

Myra punched him again, not attempting to hide her nudity. He chuckled pleasantly and ducked away from her assault, pulling the blanket to protect his head as she walloped him repeatedly.

"Rick Sanchez!" Myra snapped, "that was by far the  _briefest_ , and most  _disappointing_  moment in my life!"

Rick lunged at her, wrapping the blanket around her arms and pinning her beneath it. She squealed and attempted to wriggle free.

"Oh, I'm  _sorry;_ are you stuck?" Rick grinned down at her. His eyes were bright with humour, "don't like being an oversized burrito i-in a bed I'd certainly love to take a black light to?"

Myra smirked at him, "we can't be  _premature_  about this, Rick…" She felt the teasing smile curve her lips.

She was surprised as Rick's face began to turn red. Was he  _embarrassed?_

He let her go and stood up, gathering his clothes, "Cut me some slack! Y-y-you had me all pent up… y-y-you got me too excited last night!"

Myra stood up and pressed her hands against his forearms to stop him, as he started to pull his pants on, "Don't be such a dinghole." She frowned, "If you think that I'm going to let you leave without truly and  _completely_  satisfying me, I might just have to tie you to that bed …"

Rick glanced at her, and she was surprised to see the shock and humility in his eyes.

It was gone moments later as he smirked, "Oh, really?" he grinned at her, "Well, I-i-I can't say that's  _not_  something I'd be into…" he cocked a brow at her.

Myra pressed her body against his, feeling a sense of comfort as she felt his warmth. She wrapped her arms around his neck, drawing him down for an eager kiss. He responded with enthusiasm, his mouth hot against hers as he pressed her back onto the bed.

She suppressed the urge to moan at how wonderful it felt to be held beneath him; at how  _right_  everything seemed.

He pressed his mouth against her neck, sending tingles of pleasure coursing through her body. She couldn't help but to gasp at the sensation, and she felt his mouth curve into a sly smile against her skin.

The door suddenly burst open and there was a bright flash, followed by a disgusted grunt.

"Oh man, that's quite the sight there, Sanchez!" Robert was chortling with a group of fellow jockey meatheads. He was holding camera, smiling with amusement as Rick leapt back and hurriedly began to cover himself and Myra with a blanket.

Myra and Rick scowled as the group began to chortle again; Robert took another photo with a blinding flash.

She leapt to her feet, indifferent to the fact she was naked. Their eyes wandered eagerly over her as she rushed towards them, clearly oblivious to the fact.

She snatched the camera without hesitation, throwing it with force at the floor. It shattered.

The boys let out cries of surprise; she punched Robert in the face and grasped him by the hair, forcing his head down as she brought her knee up. She heard a sickening crunch as his nose broke and kicked him in the gut, forcing him back into the hallway. He fell in a heap on the wooden floor; blood gushed from his nose and mouth, where teeth were missing.

"Fuck. You. Asshole." she said. With each word she kicked him sharply in the ribs. She glared darkly at the other boys, who were all staring at her in horror. She feigned a rush at one of them, and he tripped over as he went to run away.

"Get the fuck away from me, you Neanderthals." She snarled at them. They all began to disperse Robert was laying in a bloody heap on the floor. Perhaps it had been a little overkill; but he deserved every bit of it.

She turned back to the room, surprised to see Rick already dressed. He thrust her dress at her, "Haver I ever mentioned how beneficial being friends with a psycho bitch like you is?" He laughed, "If I-I had a few of my things on me I'd have done that myself; you kinda saved me the hassle."

Myra climbed into her dress and turned around. Rick zipped her up without hesitation and she turned to look at him with a smug grin, " _Beneficial_  is certainly one way of putting it, she chuckled, flexing and unflexing her right hand, which was beginning to ache from her punch.

"Let's get the hell out of here, Morty." Rick muttered, stepping over Robert's unconscious body in the hallway. "We have better things to be doing…"

"Like each other?" Myra added with a grin.

Rick snickered in response.

* * *

"So, what's the deal with you and Rick?" Dianne's words came as a surprise to Myra. She glanced up from the paper she was writing and glanced at her beautiful blonde roommate.

Myra could assume  _why_ Dianne was asking the question; the tone of her voice all but gave it away.

Rick had secretly stowed away in Myra's luggage when she had headed to college. When he had miraculously spurted from a vase in the trunk of her car she had practically had a heart attack. He had laughed for an entire day about the ordeal. Myra hadn't found it so amusing.

"We're childhood friends." Myra shrugged dismissively, glancing back down at her paper. Truth was, they had been physically  _more_  than that since their awkward tumble at the prom afterparty. Though, it was just an additional benefit of their friendship now. "We do have sex occasionally." Myra added.

"What?" Dianne sounded bewildered, "How is it possible to be  _friends_  with someone you are having sex with?" her eyes went wide with shock.

Myra glanced up again, feeling irritated, "Its easy. We are friends; who have sex sometimes." She felt her teeth clenching in frustration, "It  _is_  possible to sleep with someone and feel no sense of unreasonable love for the person."

Dianne frowned, and started to set aside her mountain of textbooks she had opened around her on the floor. She was a smart girl, but Myra was easily annoyed by her constant need for 'girl talk'; or truly, any talk in general.

"So, if Rick were to start dating someone…?" Dianne asked inquisitively.

"I couldn't care less." Myra frowned, "Rick Sanchez is free to do whatever and  _whoever_  he wants. In fact, he  _does_." She stated, "If you want to start dating him, just do it. It would only mean that my best friend has a girlfriend and my 'sometimes sex' with Rick would obviously end."

It was the truth. Myra had no intention of potentially ruining a relationship between two people. Ever since she had started sleeping with Rick; Myra had somehow felt more independent and distant. She didn't feel like she needed to be around Rick every waking minute of the day; she felt she was able to do her own thing.

She had been completely ready for her independent collage life; when she had left her hometown, and said her goodbyes to everyone, she had known she would be free from her parents and Rick. She wouldn't need anyone; for the very first time in her life.

So, as Rick had busted from a vase he had created dimensional transcendentalism in- Myra had felt disappointed. For the first time in her life, she was  _disappointed_  to see Rick Sanchez.

Myra glanced at the vase on the dresser at the end of her bed. He was no doubt inside, eavesdropping or tinkering with something. Either way, she wasn't feeling in the caring mood.

"…so…" Dianne cleared her throat, " _How_  is the sex?"

Myra let out an exasperated huff and all but threw her pen onto the desk in frustration, "Dianne, I have  _no_  interest in the conversation we are currently having; if you had not picked up on the many social ques I have given you." She snapped, "If you want to find out what a physical relationship with Rick is like; dive right in and have fun." Myra stood up and snatched her handbag from beside her bed.

She slammed the door harder than she had anticipated as she left the room. She was instantly greeted by an array of cheerleader-like girls who all smiled sweetly at her and grinned, babbling about stupid things Myra had no interest in. She shoved past them roughly, and hurriedly left the sorority house, hearing confused and irritated blather behind her.

"What's wrong with her?" she heard one of them mutter sourly.

 _Everything_  was wrong.

She was bored and irritated with college already, and she was only halfway through her first year. The work was far easier than she had envisioned. Rick  _had_ warned her about college not being for smart people; and he  _was_  nearly always right.

The other sorority girls were frustrating. They were the things Myra's nightmares were made of, with their endless gossip and complaining about boys, and their incessant need to perform 'makeovers' on everyone.

Her roommate, Dianne was by far the worst. Always asking her stupid questions, ogling and distracting Rick every time he was with Myra. For someone who was as smart as Dianne, it was truly irritating to share a room with a barbie like her. She wasn't full of any useful information; just pointless, idol gossip. Like the rest of the house.

Myra huffed and pulled her scarf over her face slightly, feeling the bitter chill of winter biting through the dusk air.

"Yo!" Rick was suddenly beside her, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"The usual, bored, irritated and hormonal." Myra frowned, "I am assuming you weren't there?" '

Rick smirked at her, "I haven't been there in a week, y-you dipstick." He shrugged, "I have actually sh-shacked up in a frat house; I'm kinda the life of the place over there. I've taken over the entire basement area with science stuff; y-you should come see the shit I have been working on while you've been busy with ' _college'._ "

"Working without me?" Myra glimpsed at Rick, "That's somewhat of a surprise."

Rick grinned at her, "J-just come have a look; I'm starting to freeze my balls off out here."

He gave her arm a gentle tug as he started off in the direction of the frat house he was talking about. Myra was surprise that she yielded to his touch so easily; she turned towards him, halting in her tracks.

"My roommate Dianne has a thing for you." She said, gaging his reaction.

"That blonde piece?" Rick said, turning to glance at her over his shoulder.

Myra nodded, "I may have been quite rude to her about the whole thing; but the truth of the matter is I can't stand her. She seems too fake; to willing to please everyone and give cheery gossip the moment my alarm goes off in the morning." Myra suppressed the urge to shudder, "But she's smart and beautiful. All the things wet dreams are made of."

Rick smirked at her then, "W-where is all this coming from?"

Myra stuffed her hands into her coat pocket and shrugged, "Maybe everything is starting to get to me. Everything is so different than I had imagined; I don't know how to make heads or tails of anything that's going on."

Rick looked her dead in the eye, "Well as much as I'd like to give you the 'I told you so', speech right now; I have something really cool I want to show you-  _and_  for the first time in a while i-it's  _not_  my dick." He grinned.

Myra couldn't help but to smirk at his comment as he started to drag her after him.

He certainly  _did_  like to show her his dick when she least expected it. But there was something about the way he was holding himself; something about the excitement that was glimmering in his eyes that told her that he had discovered or created something amazing.

When they arrived at the frat house, Myra briefly noted it was the least popular 'nerdy' frat. Not that their reputation stopped them from throwing parties where they drank excessively until they passed out; the bodies sprawled on the porch and house were evident of that.

"They uh… couldn't keep up last night. I-I kinda bet them I could drink all of them under the table and th-then some… a-a-and I  _did_." Rick muttered as a brief explanation as they stepped through the almost apocalyptic-like scenery of the house. It was a mess with bottles, cans and plastic cups; they had certainly outdone themselves.

"Let me guess, you were blind drunk and still managed to pull some amazing invention out of your ass?" Myra smirked at Rick as they headed down the basement stairs.

"Well, duh." Rick grinned at her, "bask in the glow of my genius." He gestured to a strange platform with a circular archway. Myra's eyes went wide with awe; it was something they had spoken of their entire lives together; a portal which could power a gateway through into another dimension; into entire new worlds.

"Is that…?" She asked, her eyes wandered over the power system, amazed at how he had managed to gather all the components he needed to be able to power something so complex.

"It  _is_ ," he grinned in response, "A-and I guarantee it will work too; all I need is a little isotope to…"

She whirled around and glared at him, suddenly feeling angry, "Rick…" She said in a stern tone, "Are you telling me that you don't have it yet?" She snapped, understanding why he was showing her. He wanted her to steak the nuclear isotope they had locked up tight on campus. The very illegal isotope that a select few were conducting experiments on; the one  _she_  had access to, despite the fact she was a freshman.

Rick snorted at her, and wandered over to a compartment, and opened the hatch. The green glow confirmed that he had already successfully stolen it.

"Believe it or not, Morty, I-I don't always have ulterior motives." He grinned at her, cocking his brow as the devilishly smug expression covered his face, "I can do whatever the fuck I want, Morty. I-I'm a big boy."

She suppressed the urge to make a dick joke, instead she cleared her throat, "So, you going to cut the foreplay and show me what this thing can do?"

Rick grinned impossibly wide and laughed, "Well, aren't we eager today?" he pressed a button and the portal began to whir with energy. It fizzled to life, the archway glowed a mystical blue and swirled like the great depths of the ocean.

"After you." Rick gestured with his hand, his voice was filled with amusement at the dumb expression Myra realised must have covered her face.

She stepped through, feeling an icy cold rush of air. Her eyes went wide at what she saw. It was a completely different world; an deep reddish landscape, which had deep pockets of green and maroon in the distance Myra noted must have been an alien jungle.

There were strange buildings nearby, which bought Dr sues books to Myra's mind. She realised that this place had life, and she was very eager to explore.

"Panties a little wet there?" Rick snorted in amusement.

"I'd be surprised if they  _weren't_." she murmured, still glancing around, "this is amazing; words will never be able to express how blown my mind is right now…"

Rick smirked, "Well, y-you could have been a bigger part of this, Morty." He said matter-of-factly, "Instead of being a sell out and going to a school you are far too smart to attend." He sounded suddenly annoyed, "Y-you could have gotten your parents to buy you a nice little house somewhere a-a-and we could have done this in t-the garage or something."

He was right. He usually was.

She could have been doing  _real_  science, rather than sticking to boring curriculum and reading textbooks and writing essays. College had restricted her in many ways; she had felt bitter because of it.

"You're right…" She murmured, as much as she hated the idea of relying on her parents for anything; she desperately craved the mental stimulation of working alongside Rick. "I have so many ideas right now, I feel regenerated by what you have been able to pull out of your ass." She turned to him with a grin, "But before I cry home to my daddy to buy me a house; do you want to be the first humans to fornicate wherever the hell this is?"

"Planet Squanch" Rick added, "I may or may not have talked to some of the natives already."

Myra shook her head at him, resisting the urge to throttle him, "So… was that a  _yes_?"

Rick shrugged, "I could fuck."

She grinned in response, jumping as a shadow crossed her peripheral vision, "I am sorry, I did not mean to interrupt your strange mating ritual."

Myra turned around, meeting the gaze of a female bird-person. Her stomach was engorged, and Myra understood right away that she was pregnant.

"Oh…you weren't interrupting anything yet." Myra shrugged.

"Good. That would have been most unfortunate and awkward." Her expression was deadpan as she waddled past them, heading towards the nearby trees.

Rick glanced at Myra, "T-the pregnant ones' venture into the wilderness to birth their eggs. A-apparently it's a very private affair." He let out a sigh, "But we'd better head back now; I'm not entirely confident in those assholes leaving the portal device alone, if they see it." He muttered, stepping back through.

Myra followed him, feeling her mind awakened to the endless possibilities Rick's invention had made in her life. She felt reborn, completely excited by the fact they would be able to make all sorts of scientific discoveries and breakthroughs.

"Get on the phone to Daddy Warbucks ," Rick was suddenly close behind her, his hands were winding around her waist as he pulled her close, whispering with hot breath against her neck "L-let's take this shit to the next level."

* * *

 


	7. Chapter 7

"Let's get this straight…" Beth let out an exasperated huff and pinched the bridge of her nose, as if to suppress her frustration. "You were sleeping with your  _friend_ , behind mom's back and ended up getting her  _pregnant_?" She frowned and met Rick's eyes; her expression was dark, "All this time, you called  _me_  and idiot for falling pregnant at seventeen."

"Well to be perfectly fair, sweetie; we were practically forty at the time." Rick shrugged his shoulders and snatched his flask out of his coat. All the while his eyes remained on Ben; they appeared to be sizing each other up. "Y-y-you can't compare your lack of in…sight into Jerry's stupidity, to my cock-up." He belched with an indifferent expression.

"Mom, let's go." Ben frowned, his glance unwavering from Rick, "I'm growing increasingly irked by  _this_." His eyes gestured towards Rick.

Myra shook her head, "No, Ben; he's the only person who is capable of preventing the current crisis." She folded her arms across her chest and frowned at her son. She felt her mouth form a firm line as she her stubbornness kicked in.

"Hold on, I'm not finished here." Beth's expression was dark with rage, "Is  _this_  the reason why things were always so strained with mom?" She gestured to Myra as though she were some vile, contaminated object.

"Mom, l-l-let's just leave this… situation; I-it's not like it really matters or anything." Morty stepped forward, in an attempt to dissolve the situation. He appeared on edge, "I-i-I mean, what's done is done, am I right?"

"It matters to  _me_ , Morty." Beth scowled, stepping forward, her eyes unwavering from Rick. "All this time, you have been running unopposed for shittiest father who ever breathed; hands down. But this truly takes the cake, dad!" She jabbed her finger at Rick.

Rick was frowning as he took a swig from his flask. Myra knew that although he looked indifferent on the outside, Beth's words had struck a chord.

Myra let out an irritated grunt and stepped forward between Beth and Rick, "Look, the whole situation between your father and I has always been complicated. That's a fact, plain and simple." She frowned, "I'm  _never_  going to be able to ever make up for anything I've done that caused more tension between your father and mother; but for what it's worth I am  _truly_  and deeply sorry." Myra said, looking Beth in the eyes. "I  _knew_  what I was doing… what I was  _allowing_  to happen was wrong;  _terribly_   _wrong_  and there's a list of issues I'm certain a psychologist would certainly love to dig deeper into… I know your mother certainly tried." She paused.

"This is so awkward…" Summer whispered to Morty and Jerry.

"I don't care about anything  _you_ have to say." Beth muttered to Myra bitterly, "The opinion and words of my father's whore is less than important right now." She snapped, her eyes aflame with anger.

"Moooom!" Ben cut in, as he moaned in a childishly whiny tone. Myra held up her hand to silence him.

Myra decidedly ignored her Son and glanced at Rick, who had turned on his heel suddenly to head towards the garage.

"Oh, by all means; run away!" Beth snapped, following after him, "We all know that's the one thing we can always count on you doing!" She growled, "Maybe you'll actually do something  _useful_  and start packing all your shit."

Myra grabbed Beth's shoulder to hold her in place, and was met by Beth's furious snarl. She opened her mouth to say something, but her words were suddenly cut off as an invisible force held them in place.

"Yeah this is the one!" There was a shout, "This is the human female who took the thing."

Myra could make out a fleshy figure in the corner of her vision, though she was unable to move to confirm what they were.

"Testicle monsters…" Summer murmured before everything went black.

* * *

"God, fucking damn it!" Rick snapped, holding his arm as he shut down the portal platform, "I-I thought I told you to cover my ass, not let that fucking blowfly shoot me!" He grumbled irritably as he started through the medical items in the crammed garage.

It had been just over a year since Myra had successfully conned her parents into buying a house, just off campus from the college. Their bargaining chip was that she had to attend college, graduate with good grades, and eventually bag a wealthy, eligible bachelor. So far, she was holding down two parts of the deal.

"For the last time, I told you I was a little preoccupied by the four guys who had me cornered." Myra snapped back in response, snatching a bottle of alcohol out of Rick's hand and tipping it on his wound.

"FUCK!" He snapped, slapping her away.

"Hold still, you overgrown baby!" She grumbled, wrestling with him to hold him steady, "It's a plasma blast wound, and you can't just go probing it with your ape-fingers so senselessly!"

Rick shoved her off him, a grin curving his mouth, "I'm so glad that you aren't freakishly strong or anything; otherwise you might be an  _actual_  threat!" He smirked, reaching onto the top shelf, which was stocked with an assortment of bottles and flasks of liquid. He retrieved the greyish plasma-burn salve Myra had made and shook his head, "We really need to make this portal situation more portable." He muttered, frowning suddenly.

"I managed to snatch the professor's keys if you need to go hunting for some illicit materials again." Myra smiled slightly, "though I am pretty sure they have the place under surveillance by now, considering the last stock counts were so low."

Rick smirked, as he rubbed the salve into the wound on his shoulder "Actually, while you have been busy with  _'college',_ I have actually started work on an interesting prototype for a gun-like device." He was grinning from ear-to ear, "But i-it's not ready yet… all work in progress."

Myra nudged him and admired how the seared flesh began to knit back together, leaving Rick's skin completely unblemished. Being able to access all the alien resources through the portal had unleashed the endless possibilities at their very fingertips. All the different minerals, elements and matter was extraordinary. Their scientific discoveries had been endless over the year that had passed. She was amazed by it all.

There was a sudden knock on the front door.

Rick and Myra looked at each other in confusion. No one ever visited them; they didn't exactly branch out a great deal in the social aspects. They were quite contempt doing their own thing – typically off-earth.

"Better go get that." Rick smirked at her, jerking his head in the direction of the door.

"Ugh, why do I always have to get the door?" Myra moaned irritably as she set off.

They had a good thing going; whatever their situation was.

She felt her limbs grow heavy as she reached the front door. Myra opened it and was surprised by the beam of happiness that stared back at her.

"Hey Myra!" Diane grinned back at her, "A few of the girls told me where you lived, so I thought I would drop by with gifts!" She thrust a Tupperware container of muffins into Myra's arms and practically barged inside. "This house is HUUUUGE!"

Myra felt a frown of irritation forming, "Why are you here?"

"To say hello, I mean we used to be so close and then you just  _vanished_!" Diane smiled, "I mean, its been a year and… nothing!"

"Ugh… You're here for Rick, aren't you?" Myra felt the disgust cloud her mood, "He's in the garage; I can go get him if you want?"

" _Rick_  lives here too?" Diane feigned surprise, "Wow, I didn't think two people in your situation would do that…."

"Our  _situation_?" Myra frowned in confusion.

"Friends with benefits; I did an entire psychology paper on it last semester. Needless to say, you guys were the main inspiration." Diane smiled pleasantly, her eyes wandered around the house once more.

"A psychology paper?" Myra frowned, still feeling like she had been hit by a hurricane of confusion from the moment Diane had appeared.

"On the psychological benefits and drawbacks of being in a 'friends with benefits' type situation. Most of them don't last too long; perhaps six months tops from what I had investigated. I am very surprised by the fact that you two are still at it; let alone  _living together!"_  She smiled, her eyes suddenly full of intrigue, "So how  _does_  it work when you bring  _other_  people home? Is it a 'no other people under the same roof' type deal, or you guys don't care whether you see the other with another person….etc?"

Myra blinked, " _other_  people?" the confusion whirled in her head.

"I mean, you guys  _do_  see  _other_ people too?" Diane's tone was soft, gentle yet somehow menacing.

Myra stared into space. She knew that she certainly hadn't slept with another person; there just wasn't the need, appeal, or time to sleep with another person. Rick was close; Rick was convenient.

"I see…" Dianne made a clicking sound with her tongue, "I hate to break it to you, but you guys have been  _dating_  this entire time." She made a pained expression, though Myra knew Dianne was reeling with delight at the fact she had unnerved her. "Well, I'll let you process  _that_ …" Dianne smirked and headed towards the door, "Don't forget, my door is always open for you guys whenever  _either_  of you needs me…" The door clicked closed and Myra was suddenly staring into empty space, holding the container of muffins.

"Who was it?" Rick suddenly appeared in the garage doorway nearby. He was looking at her with concern, "Everything alright?"

Myra turned and looked at him, feeling suddenly flustered, "we need to talk…"

* * *

"Y-your mother is quite the piece of shit, you know that, right?" Rick glanced side-long at Ben, who was sitting in the passenger seat of the space car. Morty was seated in the back looking very irritated.

"Y-you don't have to a-aggravate h-him." Morty gave Ben a tentative glimpse as his uncle scanned the area in a spherical device, approximately the size of a baseball.

Rick could tell by Ben's stance, that he was becoming increasingly irritated as they wandered through the dimensional tear.

"I'll have you know, Morty, there is virtually  _nothing_  that could be said or done to change my current temperament towards your grandfather." Ben muttered in a matter-of-fact tone, "Although, I'm not well-known for my predictability."

Rick snorted at Ben's smug words, "Oh yeah?" He sneered, "What  _are_ you known for? A passing resemblance to Ronald McDonald? Or perhaps for having your own head l…lodged WAAAY up inside your own ass?"

"Gee, Rick." Morty muttered, "Y-y-you're really trying to piss him off, aren't you?" He appeared as though his anxiety levels were escalating, "W-Why is that something you would want?"

"Let's just focus on getting our respective mothers back." Ben muttered, turning his attention back to the spherical device in a dismissive manner. "I fabricated this tear upon stealing that temporal crystal from the fourth dimension. By rights there should be an entrance right into their prison facility nearby…"

"I'm assuming you're hoping to by…pass most of their security measures; y'know  _assuming_  they haven't already liquified Myra and your mother by now." Rick belched and snatched his flask out of his coat pocket testily. He didn't have the patience for the moody asshole. Ben was a dick.

Rick couldn't imagine such an arrogant, narcissistic dick-wad could be a biproduct of Myra. Then again, he  _was_  also carrying part Rick DNA.

"I know that their fate may not matter to the likes of  _you,_ " Ben frowned, turning around to face Rick, "But I happen to care about what happens to my mother…and half-sister." He glanced at Morty briefly, before turning his eyes back towards Rick, ", return home and drink yourself into a stupor; perhaps that will help numb some of the pain of the life of ignorance and narcissism you have led. You're nothing but a toxic parasite; ill-contempt with your own company, so you  _force_  it upon other people." Ben paused, his eyes narrowing, "You're better off being alone, destroying yourself and not the people that get caught up in your narcissistic antics."

Rick frowned, "Quite the monologue there." He shrugged his shoulders indifferently, "But you can't get rid of me so easily. I made your mother a bet of sorts, and I-I'm the kind of selfish prick who needs to see it through." He stepped past Ben and gestured to a colourful, rippling mass of translucency nearby, "T-think  _this_  is what you are looking for, by the way. Hope the rest of your plan is a million times better than your eyesight."

* * *

"This is the worst." Beth was pacing around the shimmering field-cell with an irritated expression on her face.

Myra was seated on the floor, looking through the transparent barriers at the floop-floopian prisoner in the cell below them. She understood that Beth was caught up in a whirl of emotions over the fact that Myra and Rick had been sleeping together while her parents were married. There was no denying that Rick had done some really despicable things over the course of his lifetime. Just when Beth had seemingly come to terms with the fact her dad was an ass; this revelation seeming put her in the ringer again.

Myra was decidedly keeping her mouth shut; there was nothing she could say to remedy the past. At the time, she had been unable to resist Rick; the fact that he was married also made it all the more wicked and thrilling. Myra understood that made her a disgusting excuse of a person and admitting her appalling behaviour would still never smooth things over with Beth.

"I used to  _look_  up to you." Beth said, the emotion caused her voice to strain.

Myra glanced up and stared at the younger woman, feeling her heart breaking at the look of sorrow and betrayal in her eyes. She felt the motherly urge to comfort her, but she knew that any effort she made would be rebutted.

"I'll never be able to say I am sorry enough, Beth." Myra murmured, glancing down again, "It was wrong, but it somehow felt right. There was always something about your father I couldn't resist. It wasn't just the fact that we had the extensive history together; but when it was just us it felt so  _right_." Myra sighed, feeling disgusted and disappointed in herself. "To be honest, I was under the delusion I was in love with him." Myra felt her face contorted into a pained expression and she made an effort to turn away from Beth to hide it.

Although it had been decades, the emotions were still raw. She had never wanted to ever reveal them; everyone was better off not seeing her so vulnerable.

Beth was suddenly sitting beside Myra; her heavy sigh filled the awkward silence.

"Is it wrong that I still love the asshole, despite all the misery and abandonment?" Beth said wearily, cradling her head in frustration.

Myra offered a strained smile and placed a hand on Beth's shoulder, "Despite the fact he is a toxic, narcissistic anal fissure; he still knows how to get into people's lives. He just…. digs his roots into everything and wrecks it." She sighed heavily, "Your mother had a hard time trying to psycho analyse him."

Beth smirked slightly and glanced down at the floor, "She really did, didn't she?" Her brows pinched together, "In the end, they were so miserable in each other's company. I honestly don't know if him cheating was the biggest issue; they were just so incompatible." She turned to Myra with sad eyes, "Were they  _ever_  happy?"

Myra nodded, "They  _were_. For  _years_  they were." She looked away again, "And then one day they weren't; or maybe they grew tired of hiding it. For some reason, Rick thought it would be a great idea to get drunk and show up on my doorstep. He was an emotional wreck; he always is when he gets wasted- but this time was different." Myra frowned, "one minute I was being the dutiful friend, comforting and reassuring; the next…. Well, I will spare the intimate details."

Beth was staring into empty space, "I wonder what happened?"

"We had sex…" Myra stated.

"Not that." Beth frowned, "I mean, I wonder what happened between my parents…"

Myra shrugged, and was about to offer some words of comfort when the cell barrier suddenly shimmered and two fleshy creatures appeared and glanced at Beth and Myra.

"Isn't there supposed to be the one prisoner? Why are there two of these ugly ass things in here?" It was pointing a strange device at them. Myra recognised it as a fourth-dimension bio-scanner.

They were scanning to determine who their true prisoner was.

"That one." The first fleshy creature pointed at Myra.

"What do we do with the other one?" The second creature frowned.

"Send her back." The other creature muttered irritably.

Beth suddenly let out a cry of surprise as the alien pointed the scanner at her and pressed a button. She was instantly gone.

Myra climbed to her feet and let the creatures cuff her with an electro-cuffing device. She let them lead her out of the cell.

"What's going to happen to this one?" The second creature, clearly inexperienced.

"She's being executed." The first creature was smiling, "I mean, it's not every day someone steals something from here and collapses multiple timelines. She thought she was going to stabilise it by putting the damned thing in her  _leg_." It was suddenly wobbling as laughter reverberated through it. "that only resulted in countless versions of herself to be destroyed. But it was still only a matter of time before the crystal destroyed  _everything_."

"What do we use these things for?" the second monster asked in awe.

The first shrugged, "you know that little light that comes on when you open your fridge?"

The first monster nodded.

"Yeah, that's what they do."

Myra glanced about as they entered a building. This was where they were going to execute her; it was an ominous grey building.

"Why do we have to take her all this way, if we are just going to kill her?" The second testicle creature asked in confusion, "Wouldn't it be wiser to just shoot her in the cell, and prevent any badly planned rescue missions?"

"what are you talking about?" The first fleshy creature frowned, "This is the Fourth dimension! Aint  _nobody_  getting rescued from the fourth dimension!" They suddenly entered a large, white room, with a horizontal translucent barrier. Myra was abruptly shoved inside by the creatures.

"Now we just need to destroy the crystal, in this specialised containment and everything will be hunky-dory." The first creature stated, and started pressing buttons on it, "Oh, and this is how we execute idiots like this."

The containment pod suddenly started glowing, "ten, nine, eight."

Myra closed her eyes. This was it.

"Did someone order a conveniently-timed rescue mission?" Rick's voice sounded smug.

Myra's eyes snapped open in time to see Rick, Morty and Ben shoot the creatures down.

"..four, three…"

Rick slapped his hand on the control panel and the countdown ceased, "Man, I was clenching that entire time." He smirked and disabled the containment barrier, "Talk about riding by the hair on my balls."

Ben let out an irritated grunt as an alarm began roaring, "We need to get out of here."

Myra shook her head, "You should have just left me here- they were going to destroy the crystal."

"And  _kill_  you." Rick frowned, suddenly grasping her by the forearm to drag her.

Myra snatched her am back and scowled, "I can't be like you, Rick; I can't think of only myself in this situation."

Rick scowled at her, "Look, I know you think it's some great, noble act to sacrifice yourself to save an infinite amount of lives; but right now, I really don't have time for this shit."

"Perhaps we could alter the containment field and remove her leg. I mean, we can grow you a new leg; a better leg." Ben suggested.

"Not a bad idea, sonny boy." Rick said, his eyes probing Myra, "I can make you a new leg, or a new clone. Either way is fine."

"Then I am staying here." Myra frowned.

Rick was frowning at her, his arms folded across his chest stubbornly, "Don't be cute; it doesn't suit you."

"Can w-w-we do  _something_  already?" Morty's tone was strained, "I'm pretty sure we don't have time for whatever games you two are playing right now!"

Ben suddenly stepped forward and pressed something against her arm. She felt a surge of electrical energy jerk through her nerves.

"You…. Little…prick…" she muttered before the world went black.

* * *

**Sorry for the late update!**

**_If you are enjoying this, please let me know! It will give me motivation to continue_ **


	8. Chapter 8

“This isn’t a good idea.” Myra murmured, backing away slightly as Rick started towards her. She suddenly felt her backside pressed against the workbench, her eyes focused on Rick as the devilishly devious smirk curved his mouth.

“And why not?” He virtually purred the words at her, dripping with seduction as he neared her. He was suddenly mere inches away from her, she could feel the heat from his body radiating her personal space. His eyes glimmered with amusement, knowing that he was affecting her.

“Beth and Dianne….” Myra murmured through veiled lids as she looked up at Rick, feeling every bit as aroused as she had whenever he teased her relentlessly during their college years.

They had been having intimate affairs for just over a week. After Rick’s drunken bender, he had said something about the ‘seal being broken’ and had repeatedly been successful at getting her into bed. Not that they had been using a bed…

Rick continued to smirk at her, “Beth is in Froopy Land. I have no idea where Dianne is these days. Can’t say I really care, at the moment.” He leant down, practically whispering the words against her mouth; daring her to move the extra millimetre.

As turned on as he made her; she didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

She felt a smirk curve her lips, “Guess you have the house all to _yourself_ then.” She murmured against him, her eyes taunting his. “I should leave.” She whispered, starting to edge sideways to step around him.

“Oh no you don’t!” Rick grinned, hoisting her up so her ass hit the workbench table, “Y-y-you’ve been teasing me all damn day. Y-you think I’m going to let you off that easy, you can think again.” He smirked, pressing himself against her.

Myra couldn’t help but to grin in enthusiasm, “Oh _I’ve_ been teasing _you?”_ She said incredulously, “I was covered in Gromflomite blood and guts most of the time, while you berated me for being too slow on the trigger!” She laughed, feigning to strain against him as he started to tear at her clothes.

He chuckled at her, grasping her by the waist to press her even closer to his hardness, “L-look, you’ve gotten me all worked up here.”

Myra smirked at him, “Oh, Rick Sanchez.” She feigned a sigh, “Sometimes I just want you to _beg_ me to fuck you.”

Rick’s expression was full of amusement, “Baby, I-I’d dip my nutsack in cyrogenic liquid a…nd shatter it with a hammer.”

“Beg.” Myra grinned, her eyes teasing as he looked at her in humor.

Rick smirked, “We both know I don’t-- ”

“ _Beg_.” Myra grinned wider.

Rick attempted to pout, but couldn’t help but smile, “ _Please_.” The word was strained, unconvincing.

“Please _what_?” Myra smirked, leaning against his body, her fingers expertly unlatched his belt buckle as a reward for his pathetic attempt.

“Please, just stop fucking teasing me!” Rick said, tearing her shirt open. Buttons flew everywhere. His hands began working furiously, until she was miraculously naked.

He unzipped his pants and let them fall, eagerly aligning his body with hers.

She knew she should protest because what they were doing was wrong. _So wrong_. Yet whenever she was having sex with Rick, it _felt_ so _right_.

She let out an involuntary gasp as he slid his length inside her. He was never gentle, or romantic; that certainly wasn’t his style.

“You’re so fucking wet.” He chuckled, grasping her hips tightly as he started thrusting, “always so eager.”

Myra placed her hands on the workbench behind her for support, knocking over an assortment of tools, which clattered to the floor.

She could tell by the enthusiasm behind his grip, and pace that _he_ was the eager one. He seemed to press himself deeper and deeper with each thrust, his hands squeezing the flesh on her hips, almost painfully.

Her head rolled back as the sheer ecstasy of the pleasure began to take her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, drawing his head closer to her, her fingernails digging into the flesh on his shoulders.

“Ah fuck…” he murmured, his hands suddenly winding around her, holding the small of her back. His mouth pressed against her neck, drawing a primal pleasure from within her and sent tingles down the length of her body. Her legs wrapped around his waist, pressing him deep. She started to rock her hips rhythmically to his thrusts, feeling herself inching closer and closer to her climax.

His breaths were coming in quick, sharp draws. She knew he was close and that tipped her over the edge.

She felt her fingernails drag through his flesh, her legs squeezed his waist tightly and her back arched, as she felt the knee-buckling explosion of pleasure. Her toes curled involuntarily, and she let out a cry of fulfilment. Rick let out a series of profanities and grunts, grasping her tightly against him and she felt the warmth of his cum inside her.

They were both huffing, despite the briefness of it.

“Daddy?” Beth’s voice was suddenly calling from inside the house.

“Shit!” Rick snapped into action, swiftly pulling his trousers back on. He headed towards the door, “Be there in a sec, sweetie!” he snatched up his shirt and pulled it on over his head.

Myra was hastily attempting to tug her clothes back on, looking around at the buttons everywhere, in a fluster, as she shrugged her shirt on. Where the hell had her bra gone?

“Is aunty Myra here? I could hear her yelling.” Beth’s voice was close.

The door handle rattled suddenly. Locked.

Rick glanced at Myra and her open shirt and then reached inside the nearby dryer and threw one of Dianne’s blouses at her. She caught it without hesitation and pulled it on, just was Rick opened the door.

“Aunty Myra!” little seven-year-old Beth’s blue eyes lit up the moment she saw the flustered older woman. She raced towards her and threw her arms around her legs in a crushing embrace. Her face suddenly screwed up slightly, “It smells funny in here.”

Myra and Rick exchanged an awkward glance before Beth started dragging Myra away, “You’ve _got_ to see what my daddy made me yesterday!” She was grinning, “It’s an _indestructible_ baseball bat!” She smiled impossibly wide, “I want to see if I can break it against _you.”_

Rick was smirking suddenly, “Now _this_ I have to see.” He started following them.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Myra flittered in and out of consciousness. Everything started to come as hazy flashes as she felt an agonising pain in her leg. She could sense that she was being carried somewhere, her head whirled as she drifted on the borderline of unconsciousness once again.

“Aww, gross. Sh-she’s bleeding all over me!” Morty complained anxiously.

There was an alarm sounding, and flashes and explosions. What had happened?

“Quite your whining, Morty!” Rick blurted irritably in response, “I’ve cauterised it; sh-she’s not even bleeding anymore!”

“Just admit you’ve forgotten where you parked the damned thing.” Ben’s voice sounded angry, “You had _one_ job.”

“H-how i-i-is this _my_ fault?” Rick snapped, “T-t-this whole thing is clearly _your_ fault!”

Darkness enveloped Myra’s mind once more.

She wasn’t sure how much time had passed before she started to regain consciousness. Everything felt foggy as she became aware, drawing in a heavy breath as she started to open her eyes. Her entire body felt weighed down as she peered around her unfamiliar surroundings.

Her eyes traced around the sci-fi room, noting the general disorganisation to the materials and inventions on the shelves around her. This was Rick’s handiwork.

Myra sat up, feeling a bout of nausea. She glimpsed down at her leg, noting the pale scar above her knee where her leg had been severed by the fourth dimension technology. Although she understood fourth dimension tech worked on a vastly different scale to other dimensions; she was still surprised that something had managed to pierce her flesh. After so many decades of being seemingly impervious; she was astounded to see a scar on her own body.

“Oh, hey.” Rick’s voice suddenly caught her attention. He was swaying in the doorway, attempting to look indifferent, “Ben left a little while ago, s…aid something about ‘more important shit to do’, or some shit.” He shrugged, and glimpsed at the floor, his brow suddenly furrowed in emotion.

It was only then that Myra comprehended that he was drunk. Incredulously so.

“Ugh.” She grumbled, slipping out of the bed, stumbling uncoordinatedly before she reached Rick, “Please don’t, not now.” She said, grasping him by the shoulders to steer him.

Rick shrugged away from her grasp, “How’d y-you f..ind me?” he burped, pointing an unsteady finger at her.

Myra frowned, attempting to move him down the unfamiliar corridor. She assumed they were in Rick’s subterranean workshop; she needed to sober him up. She wasn’t prepared for blackout Rick’s emotional blather.

She grunted, decidedly shoving past him, “There are Ricks everywhere.” She frowned, her eyes tracing about for a sign of a ladder or doorway.

Rick stumbled after her, “How did ­ _you_ find _me?”_

“Dimensional scanning isn’t new tech, Rick.” Myra felt her brow furrow in annoyance, “I have a micro implant in my head which allows me to detect the timelines of lifeforms at will.” She was frowning as she opened a nearby door, which led to a closet. Empty alcohol bottles and beer cans poured out around her feet and she frowned even more. 

“But why _me_?” Rick slurred. He sounded whiny.

“After what happened to your family on our original timeline, I was certain you hadn’t stuck around.” Myra murmured, stepping through into a more open room with liquid suspension chambers. She spotted a ladder and she started towards it, knowing it would lead to the garage.

“Y-y-you came looking for _me?”_ Rick’s voice was strained, emotional. He slumped to the floor, almost seemingly defeated. “I-i-I went looking for _you_. For _so long_.” He let out a lengthy, anguished belch, “you _vanished_.”

Myra resisted the urge to roll her eyes, “you want to know where I was all this time?” She asked, whirling around to meet his sad eyes. He nodded his head and she sighed, “Fine. I was the one place I knew you would never look.” She said pointedly, watching as he glanced at her in interest. “I was at my _parent’s_ place.”

Rick let out a shocked gasp, “y-you diabolical piece of shit.”

“Oh, I may as well tell you _everything_ , considering you are so blind drunk, you’ll never remember!” She scowled angrily, “I left because I found out I was pregnant.” She frowned, “I was terrified. Things had been bad with Dianne for over a year, little Beth was eight...” She felt her brows pinch together in emotion. “And I was under the delusional impression that I was _in love_ with you.” Her words became choked as her throat seized with emotion. “I wanted you to have a fighting chance with Dianne and Beth; that would never be possible with me in your life. So, I left. I had the the infinite at my fingertips with the portal gun; I travelled extensively before Ben was born. Forever looking over my shoulder, terrified that if I saw you, even just a _version_ of you; I wouldn’t be able to stay away.” She looked away, ashamed of how emotional she was getting.

She hastily wiped away a stray tear and peered at Rick, who looked distraught. He was starting into empty space. He stood up shakily for a moment and snatched his portal gun out of his lab coat pocket.

 “I-I wanted to erase you fr…om my memory.” He slurred, swaying on the spot as he typed in some co-ordinates. He shot open a portal and gestured for her to step through. “Whenever I think about doing just that, I like to pay these guys a little visit.”

She gave him a sceptical frown and stepped through the portal. She glanced around at the padded cell room, where a collection of Ricks were huddled, babbling incoherently. One looked at them and threw something brown and slushy at them.

“Is that _shit_?” Myra frowned.

“Y-y-yeah, that guy really likes to throw shit at people.” Rick slurred thickly, “these are just a handful of the versions of myself wh-who were s…tupid enough to attempt to wipe you out of their brains.”

Myra glanced around at the Ricks, who were clearly not ‘all there’ and felt a pang of sadness.

She looked at Rick, who was looking at the others with a solemn expression, “Y-y-you were so integrated in our life, s..o important to all our development and intelligence, th-that they literally made themselves virtually brain-dead when they attempted the wipe.”  He shook his head in pity, taking his flask out of his pocket and taking a sip “Kinda makes me won….der.”

Myra felt a sudden pang of pity at the misery in Rick’s eyes. She felt her anger subside completely and she placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, “Let’s get you home.”

Rick suddenly heaved and puked on her feet suddenly; she cringed against the gooey warmth.

“For fucks sake, Rick!” She muttered irritably, snatching his portal gun off him as he began to wipe his mouth with his sleeve. She opened a portal to Rick’s bedroom and roughly shoved him through. Myra glimpsed over her shoulder, at the other Ricks, one last time before she left.

Rick was already passed out in his meagre bed. She shook her head in disbelief and dropped his portal gun beside him on the mattress. She wiped her legs with a few of his shirts from his nearby drawer and headed down towards the garage to throw them in the washing machine.

Beth was sitting at the dining table, looking through an old photo album, while sipping an over-filled glass of wine. She glanced up as Myra entered the room.

“Ugh, what is that smell?” Beth asked, cringing as she covered her nose.

“The dreaded contents of your father’s stomach.” Myra frowned, “Don’t worry, I am going to throw this in the wash before I leave.” She said, reaching the garage door.

Beth suddenly stood up, “Leave?” She looked confused as she followed Myra “why are you leaving?”

Myra threw the shirts in the washing machine and started to add the detergent, “Many reasons.” She let out a lengthy sigh, “But mostly because I have concluded the business that I needed your father for. There is no reason for me to loiter any further.” She shrugged indifferently.

“But I thought…I mean, you two _are_ …. _friends_?” Beth stressed the word sceptically, “Despite everything, I thought you’d be staying longer.”

Myra let out a snort of amusement and glimpsed at Beth as she started the wash cycle, “It wasn’t long ago you were calling me a whore and telling your father to pack his shit.”

Beth had a strained expression on her face, “Look, I’m not saying that I forgive you two for what you did. But you don’t need to use me as an excuse if you want to run away.” She forced a smile.

Myra frowned, “I’m not running away; we don’t have any need for each other.” She shrugged indifferently, “It would be illogical to stay without justification.”

“So, you _want_ to leave?” Beth asked with a dubious smile.

The question baffled Myra. On one hand she still felt there was unfinished business. On the other hand, there was nothing Rick would be able to gain out of that. Besides, he probably wanted her gone, after everything.

Besides, she had to make sure that Ben wasn’t doing anything stupid again.

Myra let out an exasperated sigh, “I may look young on the outside, but I am too old for this.” She pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration.

Beth was peering at her, looking every ounce like her mother. Her arms were folded across her chest, almost in defence as she waited for an appropriate answer. Myra wasn’t even certain she had one.

“What would you like me to say?” Myra asked, feeling pressured, “Would you like me to confess some undying affection for your father; do you want me to try and fix the alcoholic wreck he has become?”

“Mother!” Ben suddenly burst into the garage, stumbling and falling to the floor. He laughed drunkenly and stared up at her with a lop-sided grin, “You’re awake! Why didn’t daddy tell me you were awake?” He complained, struggling to regain his balance as he stood up.

“ _Daddy?_ ” Beth and Myra exchanged confused glances.

“Didn’t you hear?” Summer walked into the garage, she waved her cell phone at them with an amused grin, “Grandpa Rick and Uncle Ben bonded while Myra was out cold.” She gestured to her phone, “Look, I even made a montage.”

She held the video up for them to see.

It started out with Ben and Rick yelling at each other while they were drinking in the garage, both of them covered in what Myra assumed was her blood. Another video showed them laughing drunkenly and stumbling around the backyard playing catch with an old baseball invention Rick had made. Then they both pulled down Jerry’s pants and pushed him down the stairs and were pointing and laughing.

“This little piece of here is my fucking _son_!” Rick was slurring, rubbing ben’s head with his knuckles.

The video ended, and Myra glanced at Ben, who was sobbing suddenly, “That… was… _beautiful_.”

Myra started laughing.

Ben wasn’t one to ever drink. To see him so intoxicated and emotional was somewhat refreshing. Seeing him getting along with Rick made her heart clench in emotion. It was strange, yet welcome.

It was some hours later, after Ben and the rest of the Smith family were all fast asleep that Myra found herself looking down at her old portal gun as she sat in the garage.

 She had made minor repairs to the gun over the years, teeny, insignificant adjustments; but she had never been able to fully comprehend how it worked. She knew Rick’s portal fluid formula, had been successful in replicating it- but without knowing the mechanics behind the gun, she had been unable to recreate one herself.

Ben, on the other hand….

He had taken it apart _one_ time and had instantly been able to duplicate, with minor changes. He was definitely the fruit of his father’s loins.

Myra shook her head, and glanced up as the door opened.

It was Rick.

“Oh hey…” He said, giving her a strange look, “wasn’t sure if you would still be here…”

“I’ve been internally debating that all evening.” Myra smile grimly, “Seemed a bit rude to just up and leave.”

“Like you did thirty years ago?” Rick added sourly.

Myra wanted to shake her head in disbelief. He truly wouldn’t remember anything she had told him when he was drunk. She wondered if he would still remember bonding with their son. She doubted it.

She let out a lengthy sigh, “I guess I _have_ overstayed my welcome.” She said, pushing her portal gun aside and standing up. She had every intention of leaving it behind.

Rick watched her with an irritated expression on his face, “Well, I-I hate to break it to you, but you ca….n’t leave.” He frowned, walking over to her. He was so close, she could smell him. He had showered recently, which surprised her.

Myra’s breath hitched as he suddenly pressed his body against hers, before she realised he was only doing it to grab something behind her. She started to frown in disappointment, despite herself as he stepped back and held something up to show her.

“Can’t leave without this.”

Myra looked at the foil wrapper in disbelief, “A condom wrapper?” She frowned at him.

Rick shrugged, “From the first time, we… you know.”

Myra snorted and rolled her eyes, “No it’s not!” She shoved him, feeling some tension disappear.

Rick shrugged, “for all you know, it could be.” He snickered and tossed it aside.

“I don’t even want to know _why_ you have a random condom wrapper laying around.” Myra smirked.

“Keeps my family on their toes.” Rick shrugged. “I like to leave them around; l-l-like little unwelcome presents; lets them know grandpa Rick gets laid.”

“ _Despite_ his aversion to ‘wrap his dick in strangling latex’.” Myra added smugly, “I bet you have all kinds of penicillin on tap these days.”

“Ooh, y-you know how to make venereal disease sound sexy.” Rick grinned slyly, leaning towards her.

Myra placed her hand on his chest to stop him from coming closer, “ _If_ we are going to do this, y’know- for old time’s sake. You know what I want to hear.”

Rick smirked devilishly at her, “really? You _REALLY_ want me to say that, right _now_?” he asked, attempting to push past her strength to press himself against her.

Myra bit her lip slightly and smiled, “I can assure you that _every_ inch of my body looks just like it did thirty years ago- apart from my new nifty calf and shin.” She purred, leaning back against the workbench.

“A-a-and I can assure you that mine, definitely does _not!”_ He smirked at her, “I mean, I-I’m a certified GILF now. I have a whole fanbase and everything.”

“Mmm.” Myra smirked eyeing him up and down, “I still need you to say it.”

Rick let out an annoyed grumble and sighed, “Fine.” He attempted to give her a serious expression, “ _Please_ , baby, c-c-can you _please_ fuck my brains out, just like the good old days?”

Myra pretended to shudder, “Oooh, still turns me on.” She grinned playfully, slipping her backside up so she was seated the workbench. “I spent many a lonely night pleasuring myself to the mental image of you begging.” 

“I bet you did, you filthy bitch.” He grinned, grasping her suddenly.

To her surprise, he didn’t start tearing her clothes off, as he had always done. Instead, his bony, ice-cold hands slipped beneath her shirt, sliding over the contours of the flesh on her back. He pulled her closer to him, leaning down and pressing his mouth against hers.

In their younger days, they had virtually never kissed. It was something Myra had actively avoided, at the best of times. It felt far too intimate and made her feel uncomfortable.

Yet now, she returned his kiss with seething, hot enthusiasm. Her hands wound around his neck and drew him closer; thankful at the fact he had brushed his teeth. Her carnal desires for Rick, she had assumed were long-gone, were instantaneously rekindled.

“Rick…” Myra said breathlessly, momentarily breaking apart, “The door…”

“Fuck the door.” Rick muttered dismissively, his icy hands grasping at her breasts beneath her bra.

She felt her nipples go hard beneath the cool touch. He grinned and pinched them playfully, his eyes alight with amusement as she let out a little moan.

“So sensitive.” He was grinning, “Guess someone’s in a bit of a dry spell?” he pinched slightly harder, rubbing her nipples between his thumb and forefinger joyfully.

“oh, you have _no_ idea!” Myra grinned in response, her hands tearing at his clothes. She became impatient with her fumbling attempts at removing them, so she simply ripped them from his body. He laughed in amusement and then gave her a confused glance as she began to stare at him.

“W-what’s wrong?” he asked, suddenly looking uncomfortable as her eyes traced over his naked body. “N-Not all of us were graced with the blessing of never aging.” He said, sounding defensive.

She tugged him forward and wrapped her legs around his waist, “Aww, is Rick Sanchez _embarrassed?”_ She asked in a teasing tone, holding him firmly, “Sure there are a few wrinkles and some pretty saggy balls- otherwise looks pretty much the same.” She smirked

She pulled her shirt over her head with a smirk, watching as his eyes wandered over her breasts.

“Damn.” He grinned, suddenly pulling her to her feet. He tugged at the waistband on her trousers, flicking open the button. He began drawing them downwards, along with her underwear. He whistled suddenly, “All shaven, I see?”

Myra smirked, “Well, tis the fashion of this day and age.” She stated as her pants fell around her ankles.

Rick shrugged, “I-I really liked that your carpet matched the drapes.” He was smiling as he lifted her, so she was sitting on his bench again, “I fucking _love_ redheads.” He pushed her legs wide apart, and was suddenly on his knees, peering up at her slyly, his mouth inches from her nether region. “I can’t believe you managed to get our son’s huge head through here.” he smirked suddenly in disbelief.

Myra laughed, “Let’s not talk about the natural wonder that is childbirth, right now.” She screwed her nose up with a grin.

“My bad,” Rick grinned, his fingers tracing over her sensitive bud teasingly.

She let out a gasp at the jolt of instant pleasure she received from him rubbing her. The sensation grew stronger and stronger as he rubbed his thumb against it, purposefully teasing her.

His mouth was suddenly hot against her, his tongue delving deep between her delicate folds. She arched her back, and he held onto her buttocks to prevent her from falling off the bench.

“Fuck!” She gasped, gripping his head as he continued to expertly tease her. After all the decades that had passed, he had seemingly picked up a few more tricks. Yet, she craved more; she _needed_ more.

“Please.” She whimpered, straining with each stroke of his tongue. He was tenaciously denying her fulfilment, he paused and grinned up at her.

“What was that?” He smirked smugly, “Did I hear something?”

“Please, Rick.” She begged blatantly, past the point of playfulness, “you can’t just tease me, like that.” She watched as he stood up, her eyes fixated on his erection. “ _Please_.”

He smirked smugly and chuckled at her, rubbing his hard cock against her sensitive flesh, “You want this?” He was grinning.

Myra’s legs wound around his waist and forcefully pressed him inside her. Rick let out a sudden exhale, and grasped her ass tightly, shoving himself deeper. She wrapped her arms around him, holding him tightly as he started to thrust.

Everything felt amazing; it felt _right._

She rocked her hips in rhythm to his motions, her mouth pressed against his.

His pace became frantic, and she felt her body tensing in anticipation, craving its gratification. His slight frame was slamming into hers, slapping together in desperate need. She was moaning, oblivious of how loud she was.

She felt his body getting rigid, and she grasped his ass, pressing him deep. She felt herself go tight around him, felt the explosion-like release of her climax and let out a loud, lengthy moan, her legs and arms holding him firm.

“Ah, fuuuuck!” Rick groaned, losing his composure. She felt his cock throb as he too, reached his peak.

They panted, still holding each other, almost in disbelief. After decades apart, they seemingly still had it.

“oooh- ok.” Jerry was in the doorway. He looked uncomfortable, “I-I-I should leave?” he waited for a response, “is that a _yes?”_ he looked extremely lost and confused.

“Fuck off, Jerry!” Rick and Myra snapped in unison.


End file.
